Reflection of Providence

“You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me! I sing for joy because of what you have done.” – Psalm 92:4 Anna took in an excited breath as Papa placed the warm wriggling pup with a bright red bow wrapped around its neck into her open arms. She wrapped her arms warm around, burying her face into soft fur and breathing deeply. Princess struggled, finding Anna’s face she placed puppy kisses all over the small child. “Papa, I…I thought I wasn’t old enough to have her,” Anna exclaimed between choked sobs. Papa scooped both pup and child into his strong arms, kissing blonde curls, “Mama, and I talked it over. We decided that if you loved her that she should be yours. We will help you care for her little one.” Mama stood in the doorframe wiping tears on her apron. She straightened, walking confidently to Anna and Papa. She placed her hand at the middle of Papa’s back, leaned her head against his shoulder so she might look at Anna’s eyes. Princess reached, giving Mama...

  Potato peels sat in the sink. A big silver pot brimming with water and already sliced potatoes bubbled on the stove. The earthly starches filled the kitchen with warming comfort. SCReeeeetch! BAM! Thud…thud…thud… SCReeeetch! BAM! Thud…thud…thud… Mama stilled her hand, the blade of the knife she held barely sinking underneath the brown skin of another potato. “What on earth?” Mama had sent Anna up for her afternoon nap. The child was clearly not asleep… SCReeeeetch! BAM! Thud…thud…thud… Mama wiped her hands on a dish towel as she traversed the stairs and came to the threshold of her daughter’s door. The door swung easily on squeaky hinges as Mama pushed her way in peering at the site beneath its frame in wonder. “Anna Marie Sullivan, what do you think you are doing?” The child didn’t even flinch in fear, but kept her persistent tugging on the beautiful two storied dollhouse her Grandfather had made for her. Red faced and sweating, with her eyes s...

  “I want a puppy!” Anna’s bare toes padded soft on the hardwood floor as she came through the dining room proclaiming her desire. Papa, warm in a flannel shirt, was fixing candles amidst a wreath atop the table. His strong arms stilled their effort, turning; he peered at Anna over spectacles he used for reading. “Anna! What are doing out of bed my sweet?” “Papa, I want a puppy!” “Yes child. I heard.” “Oh Papa, she is the most loveliest puppy! Mr. Ferguson said she was a cockroach panel. Mama and I spied her as we were heading to Maggie’s . I got the most beautiful dress; a blue velvet dress. Mama even got me white patented shoes to go with it.” “Anna,” Papa bent his large frame to match the four-year-old frame of his daughter, “first, I think you mean a Cocker Spaniel…” “That’s what I said,” Anna interjected, rocking back and forth on her tiny feet. “She is so pretty and perfect. I would take could care of her, might I have her?” “A puppy is a big res...

Please take a moment before you read this post and read this prayer of Isaiah 61, entitled "Beautiful Ashes"  ...pray it with yourself in mind! He hugs like my Papa! It is what I think as Mr. Ray wraps his strong arms, thinned by treatment, around my waist. “You make this bearable,” he whispers as his sure frame trembles with emotion. I am emptied and filled all in one moment. As we squeeze tighter, letting tears of gratitude and sorrow wash us clean, I am fully aware of this journey. These moments stop the frenetic and settle anxiety. There are stirrings of mystery that God leads us to. His hand is ever in the hard beautiful life we all face. The season change from summer into autumn always stills the breath in my lungs. The crisp air ignites a fire in my weary bones. The changing dancing leaves are utter splendor to behold. In this season there is a pulling of the veil. The magic of this journey is always peeking around corners. The last weeks a fog has rolled ...

“When God tells you to be brave, he will make it work. It won’t be perfect. It won’t be easy. But it will be your story and your best story.” -   Annie F. Downs “She walks in grace and dignity. She laughs without fear of the future.” – Proverbs 31:25   I have a warrior heart! The women who speak my language are ones with the air of adventure about them. I love the scene in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King where Eowyn kills The Nazgul. You can see the terror and fear in her eyes. Yet, there is something deeper. She is a protector, a warrior, and her bravery is unmatched. In fantasy I live with that depth of bravery. In reality…well…I long to be brave! I really do. There are times when my timidity gets the better of me and I cow under fear. The reality is muddier than fantasy. God calls us to be brave in the midst of our den of lions, raging fires, giants, turbulent storms, high seas, and burning bushes. The beauty is He never asks us to do it alone. He ...

39  Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. - Mark 4:39 I am comfy. There is Mint Chocolate Truffle Tea in my Clark County Public Library mug. I have my stretchy bleached brown pants, x-large t-shirt, and my hot pink fuzzy slippers on. I couldn’t wait to run the errands I had after work, eat dinner, and settle into my computer nook. There is so much to tell. My heart bleeds – open wide to this journey. I am accepting who I am. I am learning, in humility, that God has purposed me to be love, grace, and hope to those around me. If you are willing, sit back and come along with me on this journey. The dark is ominous, the waves are tempestuous – danger and wonder rolled into one, but in the distance there is a beacon: a light that cuts through the darkness… I have always felt ‘not enough’. It is a sad thing to admit, but oh so true. I have felt not pretty enough, not smart enough, n...