Reflection of Providence

As Rachael reached up to take my hand, tiny fingers wrapping around my finger, I realized I would never have this moment again. My throat closes with the prick of this bittersweet memory. The yellow-bellied sun sinking into the blue horizon turned to flame while soft waves played their melodic tune on white shores. My eyes beheld too much translucent beauty. I was overwhelmed with the sensations. I truly felt a part of the divine – the veil had dropped & I got a glimpse of how God must see things. So it was with most of the trip in Florida. I was aware, thankful, hope & joy – filled! Daily life has sucked out some of the luster of those two weeks. I have allowed it to beat me about the brow a bit. But, those memories still haunt. They play deeply on the cords of my heart, grasping & holding fast to what really matters. I have worked with the Scalf Family for five years. I have helped raise the three youngest children. I have been given the deep privilege of be

    As I sit, metaphorical pen to parchment, my fingers tremble. I struggle to share my story. I have had deep hurt, and to tell it, it has to be the whole, not the part…   I grew up in a comfortable middle class family. My grandparents lived next door. We celebrated birthdays & holidays with an air of magic. Church every Sunday morning/night & Wednesday’s too – for good measure. What no one saw was the house was made of paper, flame caught, consumed in heat to ash, the underbelly surfaced. I had a parent that fought with depression & addiction (still does). I had another parent that was there, but absent. There was little conversation about the shadows in our family. They were swept under the rug or locked in the closet – out of site out of mind. This was when I first learned to draw the shades over my heart; pulling deeper within myself & withdrawing from the pain. I still struggle, as Sara Groves says, “to keep my heart open like the surface of a l