“Rose spoke up softly beside me. ‘It’s how you handle the unfairness of life – that’s what matters, I think.’… In this city of imprisonment, I had seen faith and optimism, strength and fortitude in the face of adversity.” (Rose was in a Japanese Internment camp) – Ann Howard Creel, Magic of Ordinary Days
There is a reawakening from Spiritual Amnesia. It occurs on a daily basis. Communion becomes rehearsed. The air stale. The duty conducted with numb appendages – a mumbling of a prayer, a kind word given, bible verse read. The force needed to change this directive, knock the scales from my eyes, is quite powerful. The exposure sometimes develops a bit blurry. Yet, the moving breathing omniscient God does not let me go quietly into the fog of forgetfulness.
I remember watching the movie Magic of Ordinary Days based upon Ann Howard Creel’s novel. It is still one of my favorite movies. There is a beautiful bridge between what we think we want or need, and what is really needed to live an extraordinary life.
There is a red bird that loves to sit near the top of a Crepe Myrtle just outside my work window. He shifts from branch to branch, fluffing his feathers, and careening his neck. I love to watch him. He needs nothing to be breathtaking. He evokes hope just by being present.
2016 started strong. There was an unfolding in my spirit. Sara Groves speaks, in one of her songs, about our desire to curl around an ache, close ourselves from the pain, become small. She goes onto speak of opening up like the surface of a lake no matter the rain or storm that is to come. It takes effort to be that open.
As the year progressed I found myself curling up, fetal. Not only did I curl in, but began to obsess and worry. Every small pain, uncertainty, fear began to eat away at my sanity. Helplessness began to bleed into daily thoughts. I began to distance myself from the body of Christ, Scripture, and God Himself.
There is assurance in a faith that is founded in God’s faithfulness pushing past my unfaithfulness. I am beholding to Him that His love is not contingent upon my action or inaction. It is constant and unwavering.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
- Romans 8:37-39
There is a fire etched on my soul, an eternal flame that burns with fervor for Him. No matter how much of the world I try to drench it with.
There are some resolutions I’m making in the New Year...love more, live each day healthy & whole, show kindness, eat as healthy as I possibly can, go on adventures – big and small, sing, dance, get my picture taken, get the first five chapters of my book completed, etc.
Yet, the one immutable desire above all others is to follow where He leads – affix myself to His mast! Let fear drip off as rain washing my soul clean!!
I continue to want to connect to those I love, to God, to life! Each day my job reminds me how fragile this life is. How fleeting and precious…
Things will get better, hold on, hold on to Him!
“Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.” But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side.” – Psalm 3:2-6
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.” – 1 Peter 1: 3-6
“As a child, when I first heard the story of Creation, I’d closed my eyes & pictured the earth as a ball rolling off the palm of God & into dark space, then drifting around until it found its home in sunny orbit. Never perfect, but ever spinning, and holding on to her course, despite it all.” – Ann Howard Creel, Magic of Ordinary Days