Showing posts from January, 2014

Sabbath...Holy Gratitude!

Love is patient; love is kind. Love isn’t envious, doesn’t boast, brag, or strut about. There’s no arrogance in love; 5 it’s never rude, crude, or indecent—it’s not self-absorbed. Love isn’t easily upset. Love doesn’t tally wrongs 6 or celebrate injustice; but truth—yes, truth—is love’s delight! 7 Love puts up with anything and everything that comes along; it trusts, hopes, and endures no matter what. 8 Love will never become obsolete. – 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a (The Voice)
The snow fell soft transforming the landscape new and clean. The wind blustered as peace fell deep, bundling tight under covers, canceling all engagements, I did what any introvert longs to do – I hibernated. It was glorious; Saturday last. While I was looking forward to my plans I was equally relieved to be able to stay indoors and shut the world out. The beautiful thing about introverts is that we are comfortable being with ourselves. The bad thing about introverts, at least this one, is I struggle unearthing my h…

Woops, Uh-oh, Gosh Golly Gee, Shoot, "Oh, Bother"....

As you can tell by the title of this post, my initial point was to be light-hearted about this topic, but my journey tonight has taken some turns. While a bit more sober, I pray you know the joy that fills my the light of imperfection His perfect love shines forth...I humbly offer my meager words...

Oh, to be perfect! The desire infects me. It twists, turns, and pulls until my sails lock tight around the mast too drunk on deception to unfurl, and catch the wind of His still small voice. The fear of rejection petrifies. My grace draws tight, my love stiffens, and my compassion runs thin. I don’t know how to fix this part of me. It is a brokenness that keeps me from trying new things. Fret puddles at my feet when I make a fool of myself. I feel foolish for feeling like a fool. The Eeyore statement, “oh, bother” is a companion phrase of mine.
I don’t know if these words resonate with anyone else. Perfectionism seems to be the tempest that bends a woman, weighting her down with de…

Every Moment (Saturday Brunch)

I am long on staying. I am slow to leave,
Especially when it comes to you my friend.
You have taught me to slow down,
And to prop up my feet.
It's the fine art of being who I am.

And I can't figure out why you want me around.
I'm not the smartest person I have ever met.
But somehow that doesn't matter,
No it really never mattered to you at all.

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome.
At the risk of self-discovery,
I'll take every moment,
And every minute that you give me.

-Every Minute; Sara Groves

Monday night dinners with the Scalf’s are always a blessing, but the day has been long lived. The kids are wound & winding down. There is a quiet weariness to the adults around the dinner table. It is the wrapping up of a day.
This past week we chose to do Saturday brunch – Frank’s donuts for the kids & Great Bagel for the adults.
I am very much a part of the family. I know this house. I know the inner workings of the rooms & the people who reside in them.

Ram in the Thicket

This is where I start. I seek my voice – my narrative. My fingers are hesitant to press black keys. My heart retreats with fear if someone pulls at the frayed edges I might just rip open & bleed. I do not take rejection well. Yet, I start here. In this space I put down roots & nourish my wings. I don’t try to be anything other than little ole’ me – like it or not.
I want the deep past the fear, the wellspring that bursts full of joy. There is extraordinary in the ordinary that is all around us. I am narrative. I speak with a cadence all my own. I traverse the great mysteries that my unique journey has given to me. I am rich & full & complete. I hold cadence with kings, queens, priests, priestesses – angels unaware – in the guise of friends & family.
“But you are a chosen generation, a royalpriesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light…” 1 Peter 2:9
The prayer I have…

Out with the with the breathtaking!

2013 was a beautiful aching year. There was a great deal of change - abundance & a reaping.
I wrestled through a kidney stone & my faith. I discovered idols & heard God’s voice calling my name in the cleft of the rock.
I was prayed for! Oh, how I was prayed for?
I attempted to show authentic love to others.
I made a complete & total fool of myself.
There was wondrous joy, tears, laughter, & hope shared between friends – my soul sisters.
There was a trembling trepidation that came with the close of this year. For five years past I prayed in the New Year with my church. This year I would be separate from something that had become sacred to me. I was a little jaded at the fact that I would not be able to spend this time in reflection, preparation, & hope for the year to come.
To be completely honest I have felt like a wondering lost ding bat these last few days! Oh, the laughter that is flowing from my lips at calling myself a ‘ding bat’! It is a word that has neve…