What to Blog About?

I have no earthly idea what I would like to blog about! I just felt like blogging. I had my interview with the District Manager today for work, and it went really well. He said I was confident, quick, intellegent, and capable. I'm brushing the dust off my shoulder as we speak. As soon as I get my pictures from the party I will attempt to put them on the blog. I am making Heathre a scrapbook. My wonderful Iowa friend sent me the most encouraging email today. I love my family to pieces. My manager Jennifer cracks me up, she is so crazy and over the top. I had the most wonderful time at storytime today. We had around 8 children and it was a St. Patricks Day Theme. We read Jack and the Leprechaun, made Shamrocks with crayons and glitter and paper, we ate Shamrocks and chocolate Gold, and drank Green Apple Koolaid. Next week we are going on an Easter Egg Hunt. I think I will cry when I actually have to give up Storytime. I love those children so much. I miss my sister Meredith. I miss my friend Krystal. I miss camping and my Papa. I'm tired of feeling gross and fat. I hate the word fat. I wish I would meet my Prince. I'm scared to meet my Prince. I want a baby. I want a career. I want to live life to the fullest instead of merely existing. I love Project Greenlight. I want to make movies, be in movies (I'm not sure I've shared that with many people), I want to write and people to read and appreciate my work, I want to learn more about photography, I want to marry a cowboy, I want to live in the midwest, I want to do something totally spontaneous and crazy, I want to learn about horses....I WANT LIFE! I'm afraid that I'm not good enough or smart enough to make my dreams come true, I'm afraid for my silent lust for fame, I crave attention, I'm afraid I won't be fulfilled or happy...ever, I'm afraid of someone close to me dying, I'm afraid of a burgler coming into the house while I'm home, I'm afraid of buring and drowning, I'm afraid of driving and seeing a tornado on the ground, I'm afraid of death. I love the Lord, I love myself, I love others,...sometimes I feel like I'm to selfish, sometimes I wish I could be the absolute center of attention, loved and liked and praised, sometimes I wish I could run away with God...my brain is always thinking always runnning, sometimes I wish it would just stop. Random thoughts never ending, even when I'm talking my mind is moving. I can't quiet the voices in order to hear the one true voice. I want to be Single-Minded how do I do that? Sometimes I feel a little unstable, sometimes I wish Christ would come, sometimes I envy those close to me, sometimes I view my life better than those close to me...I'm prideful, weak, scared, insecure, arrogant, judgemental, uncaring, unforgiving, tired, weary, wasted, lowly, low, sorrowful....I AM SMART, FUNNY, PRETTY, AND NICE! I'm a little wierd...I love Little House on the Prairie, Michael Landon, and Melissa Gilbert! I like those who get me, I like blogging, I like where my crazy mind takes me....and if I continue on like this we could be here all night long. I love all of you. I really had no idea that this blog was going this way. No wonder my sister calls me a Whirlwind!


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