Inspired by Kat (in more ways than one)

I was truly inspired by Kat's writing on songs and what they meant to her and how they have affected her. Well, I was listening to on of my new favorite artists Anna Nalick, and one of the songs just hit me over the head with a sledge hammer, because this is exactly how I've lived all my life with the crushes I have and how I create them in my own mind. I am just coming out of another really bad episode…I was trying to create a reality that was in no way there and I just simply made an absolute and complete fool out of myself in front of a lot of people…I often question these actions and wonder if it not only hurts me, because I know how it grinds me to dust, but how it affects the other person inadvertently. Gracious me let me share with you the song lyrics and then I explain further…

In My Head

Under the weight of your wings
You are a god and whatever I want you to be
And I wonder if truly you are
Nearly as beautiful as I believe

In my head
Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through another lonely night

Under the weight of your wings
Should ever we meet on your side of the stereo
I will pretend I know not of your thoughts
And even the way that they mirror my own
I'll take you away in the way that you take me
And go where I go

In my head
Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through another lonely night

Fall awake to the sound of my heart to your beat
Melancholy and cool kind of bittersweet
Love on repeat
I'm echoing all your philosophies

I don't wanna be fool-hearted
Baby I'm outnumbered in my head

In my head
Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through another lonely night

Under the weight of your wings
I make believe you are all that I'll ever need
All that I need

Now, it is clear she is talking about falling in love with someone through their music, but everyone in their own way plays their own sort of music, dances to their own rhythm, and how hypnotic…I get so transfixed in my fantasies that I lose all sense of reality. That person becomes my world (in my mind) and I lay out my ideals upon them, and swim in ghost arms on a make believe bed. They are all that I want and more…oh I'm sick of it…oh I'm sick of it, but it will get me through another lonely night…(one day what is real for my heart will be revealed, thank you Jesus for that!)

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