It's Not About Me!

Alright! It seems that everywhere I turn God is drilling this into my head, everywhere...from the blogs I've read today, Kat frustrated with the church, Gayla uncertain with being a mentor, Tom speaking on not being a good man, on...and on...and on...the conversation I had with Teresa outside her car on Wednesday night has confirmed this, even my previous post which was totally God, and then I was going through some old posts on Todd's Xanga site and I found THIS!

That is exactly what I do...make it about me, when it totally isn't! I have been really afraid about moving to NC and having to go back to school, does God want me to go back to school, what about getting married, making people my "prince" when they are not mine to own...me...me...me...my prayers are consumed with it....I tremble with it! Why am I so completely selfish...what makes me think I'm so lofty.

On my drive to work this morning I was just praising and adoring Christ, loving Him for who He was! I wanted to close my eyes and lift my hands toward Heaven, but of course I was driving so I couldn't, I found myself placing my hand on my Bible in my passenger seat, and singing along to Todd...God was speaking through every word!

I'm remained of the poem I wrote many moons ago:

Selfish Prayers

In a small and quiet room kneeling before the Lord,
The musty smell is sour to the nose.
The tattered pages of the soul search for healing,
Pleading on the selfish need and insecurity.
Touching self the breath never reaches God.
The prayers are used to strengthen vanity.
The touch of God is never felt in the musty room of the soul,
the cobwebs grow thicker.
They bar the blood from the soul.
The ego is all that is fed.
Child if you only knew what it was to pray,
and taste His honey.


Satan is laughing in his den.

Oh Lord don't let me lose this truth, use me, I am your vessel, I am your temple, I am yours, use me whether I'm ready or not...let me walk more and shut my sorry old mouth up! Keep me CROSSeyed! Oh Lord I love you more than anything, help my unbelief, I am a tool, I am willing! I don't want it to be about me!

I'm sorry this is just the main theme running through my life right now and I had to share! You guys rock! Love each and every one of you!

Comments

fofinha said…
You are right that it is not about you, it is about the Jesus thatis in you. Don't apologize for coming to greater realizations of your need for our Savior. There will be other seasons where you will look back on this one and rely on God's faithfulness He showed you right now. You are his vessel and a mighty fine one at that. Stop to hear his voice. He is whispering in your ear His very desire for your life. Listen to Him as He loves you more than I could and that is a bunch.

I love YOU and I love MY CHRIST in YOU.

Never forget one of my fave Bible phrases, "And it came to pass..." It cam so it is here, but it cam to pass so it will leave at some point in the future. I knowthat is stretching that phrase but it is a good thought neverthe less.

LoveLoveLove, mk
Melissa said…
Thank you my beautiful creation sent as a blessed gift to fill my soul! I am blessed beyond measure because of you! Thank you for the kind words and always uplifting me daily! God is doing something...I just need to give it to Him so He doesn't have to get out the exacto knife!

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