Believe It or Not!

I’m alive…

Yes I am!

I am sooooo sorry that it has taken me this long to actually sit down and post something. I just have to say that my life is so crazy. I did want all of you to know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers. I promise to pop in and say high later on this week at all of your blogs. I have got some things in the works for this here blog itself…including a name change. Hopefully I will have a chance during the week to work on some of these changes. Please just be patient with me, it is the holiday season and I work in retail remember. I’m doing a million and one things with church and friends and family, and there are simply not enough hours in one day.

I don’t really have any great pearls of wisdom to impart this evening or any life questions to draw up. I will say that the immense response, letters, emails, and the like that I received from my post on living in a broken dream is phenomenal. The things that were shared with me are personal and beautiful and I feel humbled and honored to hear them. Thank you everyone who shared their story, gave me an encouraging word, or blessed me with their unique insight…thank you all for bearing your souls with me and allowing me to bear mine. I am blessed beyond measure because of that. I don’t know what I did to deserve the wonderful blessings of each and everyone of you.

Things in general have been tough. I’m struggling with some health problems that I have been having for years now. I have shared some of my problems with many of you through email…but I just ask you to pray as I travel back to the doctors after the first of the year that God will grant them the patience and understanding and wisdom to get me on the road to healing. There is absolutely nothing that the great Jehovah Rapha cannot do. I had another terrible Acid Reflux attack this past Friday night, for those who do not know I spent the night in the emergency room about a year ago do to this horrible thing. Once again I thought I was going to die. It is a horrible burning pain that never stops and runs directly to my back…it honestly feels like something has burst inside and I’m frightened every time. It is amusing now, but I really wasn’t sure I was going to make it through the night. Well, I did! This means a trip to the GI doctor after the first of the year to find out what they can do. I hate doctors and the actual thought of having to deal with this and my other issues is frustrating. I also ask that the Lord grant me the patience and peace needed to get through this time.

Well, enough about being sick, that seems like all I’ve been talking about as of late, and I’m just sick of it…HA! HA!

I’m not sure how to define my journey right now because it fluxuates greatly! I think there is a great ache for Him deep within my bones, and I’m trying to let it consume while at the same time try to shut it out. Does that make any sense at all? God is faithful though, and He has not let me go…Praise Him! I just pray for an open heart and a very receptive spirit! I love you Lord! I love you Lord! I love you Lord! And I don’t deserve your love…but I’m so grateful you want to spend time with me!

I’ve got some wonderful things planned for the holiday’s. I spent a wonderful day yesterday with my friend Jamie…we went shopping, ate good food, and then went to see Chicken Little…too funny! This Friday I’m going to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert, of course the next week I journey home to Georgia for Thanksgiving. December 3rd I’m spending the day in one of my favorite little towns…Bardstown with Jamie and her family. We are going to have delicious fun and I will be sure to share all of it with you. Friday December 9th I’m going to see the Nutcracker with Jamie, Becky, and Jamie’s Mother Nancy…this is becoming a yearly tradition. I love it! Saturday December 10th my family and I go to a Pioneer Christmas Dinner/ Drama in Richmond, Saturday December 17th is our church Christmas/ Thanksgiving Dinner, Sunday December 18th I go see Steven Curtis Chapman and Mercy Me in concert…oh yeah and the Saturday after Thanksgiving I go see Rob Thomas in concert with a couple of people from work! Of course there is the Hymn sing and just spending time with fam and friends. We are staying in KY for Christmas…I’m so thrilled. It is going to be extremely busy but oh oh oh so much fun. I’ll fill you in on every exciting detail! Of course there is shopping… which I’m doing this Thursday, and decorating, and baking, and all that wonderful stuff…still going to get some recipes out to you guys…PROMISE!!!

In general I’m in love with Casting Crowns…my sister burned their new CD for me and every song is captivating, breathtaking, honest, and thought provoking…I love when I find a band that is neither shy of speaking truth or intimidated by what others might pressure them into singing…they speak from their souls and it speaks to me! Oh the joys of GOOD music. I just saw the most poignant movie call “The Snow Walker” with Barry Pepper. It is set in Canada after WW2…it is about a pilot living on the marsh plains…he is cocky and arrogant and full of himself. He doesn’t have the capacity for real love and he is always out to make a buck! Charlie, that’s his name, goes on a routine flight and decides to do a little work on the side. He runs into an Inuit (msp) tribe with a young girl who is sick with TB…they beg him to take her to the doctor. He doesn’t want to at first, but in the end that give him ivory tusks in trade for him to take her to the doctor. They hit a patch of bad weather, and engine blows, and they end up crashing into the marsh plains just at the start of the winter season. The journey takes both Charlie and the young woman through many twists and turns, and slowly brings about a change in Charlie and the ability and capacity for real genuine love for another human being…it is literally one of the most beautiful stories I have seen in a long long time…oh this is a must see…one of the greatest things was watching the extras in this film and realizing what amazing people these actors were and that they really got out into nature and made this raw and beautiful film…A+++++ in my book!

Well, stay tuned. I promise great things are coming in the future. God is so faithful and I love Him ever so much.

You guys have a great day…God bless!


Becca said…
glad you're doing better sweetie :)
Gayla said…
You're wearing me out, girl! Boy, do you have an up and coming busy schedule! But if you're like me, you LOVE to have all these fun things to do during the Christmas season! Glad you're feeling better.

You're a sweet, sweet bundle of energy, and I love to catch up on your life.

much love~
bjk said…
Glad you are back and on top of things remember when you are under them He never ever leaves us.....maybe you've already figured that out ... for me it is a new revelation in the midst of the crap how quickly I forget Him....Heis an amazing God and I am grateful that we get to share the journey!! love becky
~Kat said…
Make time for me!!!! I need to see you, too!!!!
Pilot Mom said…
What a schedule!!! :) Glad to hear you are better healthwise! Will continue to pray for the long term.
Anonymous said…
Who's Jehovah Rapha??
Anonymous said…
I read your blog every once in a while, and you sure are all about the God-talk. I admire your faith. I sure hope it gives you exactly what you need.
Melissa said…
Thank you all beautiful people!

Gayla I'm wearing myself out!

Becky...I figure it out afterwards...I'm trying to live in it during the actual moment.

Becca...still working on that letter. way I'm leaving you out of the picture...

Anonymous...I am so blessed to know that you read my blog from time to time. Jehovah Rapha is a name for God which means Healer! Thank you for admiring my the end, no matter how I forget it...He does give me exactly what I'm looking for...what about you, have you found what you are looking for? are always a welcome visitor on my blog...

Guys I promise to get to your blogs soon. It is coming a storm at my house right now and I don't wnat to die while being on the computer. I'm off Thursday and hopefully I will get to catch up then.

Much Love,

Becca said…
It must be a pretty extravagant letter :) I'm excited...

Anonymous said…
I was raised as Jehovah's Witness and faith was shoved down my throat until I was 18, that when I turned into an adult, I couldn't take it anymore.

I don't have faith. But I'm OK with that. I believe in something higher, whether it be a god or something else. I also believe in the golden rule, aka. karma.

I've read a lot of your archives, too, and you really get down on yourself sometimes. Please just know that you're a good person and you're your own worst critic. Don't be too hard on yourself.

PS - I read one of your poems. It really touched me. It perfectly summed up what I would've said to my cousin had she not died.
Melissa said…
Anonymous - how easily we as human beings and well meaning "churchy" people can close the door to who God really is...He cannot be contained in a "religion"...God is so much much more. I know I had nothing to do with it, but I feel that I need to apologize for having a man made "faith" shoved down your throat...a real faith in the Lord goes far beyond the demands of religion...and I'll say one thing He has faith in US!

I think that you do have faith...everyone, or at least I believe everyone has some sort of faith...whether that be in themselves or what have you. I to believe in the Golden Rule and that everything that you do has a cause and effect. What's your thought on Heaven?

Thank you for pointing out a true fact about some of my posts...I do get down on myself. Thank you for making me aware of that. I'm grateful that I have this space where I can just let it all go, but sometimes you are right I do get to down on myself and I am my own worst critic...I will definately reflect on this and remind myself of that when I get in one of those funks.

I am so glad that my poem touched is amazing when grief strickes what can come of it...I truly believe it was God breathed!

Take Care, and thank you for your comments they are always a blessing.

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