Just Give Up!
(Didn't spellcheck this, be prepared :)
Just give it up all of it...up to God! My pastor says something pretty profound...God is either Lord of ALL or not Lord at all! I have been allowing God to be Lord of all for a long time now. Even as I'm typing on my computer I'm holding onto my dreams with a clenched fist! I'm scared...you know what, I'm scared that God's dreams won't be as good as mine! It is amazing the battle that we are in. We are either for the Devil or for God...it all depends on the stance we take. I know that many of you have been concerned with what I have been writing, but never fear I'm doing wonderfully...yeah, I 'm in the midst of the gunfire and mortar shell, but God has got lovely people in my life who have got my back and I'm fighting on His side...that is why satan wants to destroy me so much. There is a lot more that I want to say, and I still need to share with all of you about my lovely Halloween! Any-Hoo!
Just when I thought that I wasn't getting answers about living in a broken dream, God revealed so much through not only those who chose to post a comment on my blog, but those who chose to email me and share there souls...one friend basically just wrote my story with her pen, sharing and awesome meal with Amy Kat and knowing that God wants us as friends by how desperately satan doesn't...my head is always spinning when she leaves, in an AWESOME way, just the same way when I leave Teresa's house! It is good, scary, AWESOME stuff!!!
So, this broken dream thing I've been harping about...well here is a little bit of what I've learned...it's alright! It's absolutely and perfectly alright to live in a broken dream, in fact I believe that we do. In many ways the desires or dreams we have for ourselves are wasted passion and desire that was always intended to fall on Christ...and that painful sacrifice of letting those things go (and I'm struggling with letting go) render such glorious and amazing fruit!!! I've learned that just like we are cracked vessels so God's light might shine through us, so our broken dream is a cracked vessel so God's perfect dream for us can shine through the seams and reveal a mosaic far more beautiful than we could ever ask or even imagine...a taste of real communine...so, I'll revel in living in my broken dream...laying it down and then letting it go...for you can't just lay it down, for you can still have you hands on it, you have to let it go....I'm not saying it will be easy...I'm not saying that I will do it right away, but I'm saying that a Broken Dream is a BEAUTIFUL place to be! There is so much negative I could harp about, but you know what life is great, and I can see the brilliant colors bleeding through the cracks....praise God from whom all blessings flow!
"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then cna you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You're blessed when you're content with just who you are - no more, no less. That's teh moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in teh best meal you'll ever eat. You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full', you find yourselves cared for. You're blessed when you get your inside world - mind and heart - put right. then you can see God in the outside world. You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fithg. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family. You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom"...
Excerpt from Matthew 5 The Message (Don't have the Remixed verson) The whole chapter is worth reading in my opinion!
--------------
Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Just give it up all of it...up to God! My pastor says something pretty profound...God is either Lord of ALL or not Lord at all! I have been allowing God to be Lord of all for a long time now. Even as I'm typing on my computer I'm holding onto my dreams with a clenched fist! I'm scared...you know what, I'm scared that God's dreams won't be as good as mine! It is amazing the battle that we are in. We are either for the Devil or for God...it all depends on the stance we take. I know that many of you have been concerned with what I have been writing, but never fear I'm doing wonderfully...yeah, I 'm in the midst of the gunfire and mortar shell, but God has got lovely people in my life who have got my back and I'm fighting on His side...that is why satan wants to destroy me so much. There is a lot more that I want to say, and I still need to share with all of you about my lovely Halloween! Any-Hoo!
Just when I thought that I wasn't getting answers about living in a broken dream, God revealed so much through not only those who chose to post a comment on my blog, but those who chose to email me and share there souls...one friend basically just wrote my story with her pen, sharing and awesome meal with Amy Kat and knowing that God wants us as friends by how desperately satan doesn't...my head is always spinning when she leaves, in an AWESOME way, just the same way when I leave Teresa's house! It is good, scary, AWESOME stuff!!!
So, this broken dream thing I've been harping about...well here is a little bit of what I've learned...it's alright! It's absolutely and perfectly alright to live in a broken dream, in fact I believe that we do. In many ways the desires or dreams we have for ourselves are wasted passion and desire that was always intended to fall on Christ...and that painful sacrifice of letting those things go (and I'm struggling with letting go) render such glorious and amazing fruit!!! I've learned that just like we are cracked vessels so God's light might shine through us, so our broken dream is a cracked vessel so God's perfect dream for us can shine through the seams and reveal a mosaic far more beautiful than we could ever ask or even imagine...a taste of real communine...so, I'll revel in living in my broken dream...laying it down and then letting it go...for you can't just lay it down, for you can still have you hands on it, you have to let it go....I'm not saying it will be easy...I'm not saying that I will do it right away, but I'm saying that a Broken Dream is a BEAUTIFUL place to be! There is so much negative I could harp about, but you know what life is great, and I can see the brilliant colors bleeding through the cracks....praise God from whom all blessings flow!
"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then cna you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You're blessed when you're content with just who you are - no more, no less. That's teh moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in teh best meal you'll ever eat. You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full', you find yourselves cared for. You're blessed when you get your inside world - mind and heart - put right. then you can see God in the outside world. You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fithg. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family. You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom"...
Excerpt from Matthew 5 The Message (Don't have the Remixed verson) The whole chapter is worth reading in my opinion!
--------------
Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Comments
Just a thought.
All of the discussion on brokenness reminds me of two examples that were given me in the past when I was living in brokenness. One comes from "My Utmost for His Highest" and I don't remember about the other one.
Anyway, first one, when we look at the example of the feeding of the 5000 by Jesus we may miss a poignant detail that Oswald Chambers did not. The child gave all he had in the 5 loaves and 2 fish just as Christians we give all we have in our lives, ourselves. Christ accepts the willing offering, blesses it and then..... wait for it.....
The offering is broken. Without being broken, the offering would not, could not meet the needs of the 5000, the world. We have to be broken, live in brokenness to accomplish the grander plan of Christ in our lives. I know you know this in your mind, making it a heart knowledge is the harder part. Here we saw the boy had his own plan of having lunch while listening to our Savior while our Savior knew His plan was much bigger and it would take the sacrifice and the brokenness offered. When I get all stoved up and in the pain of brokenness, I am reminded that it is only through the brokenness that God can make me of greater use in His kingdom. You my dear are of great use in the kingdom.
Second, I either read this story or heard it and I don't remember the full thing but the larger point so bear with me.
When you see the china urns from eras such as the Ming Dynasty, we know those are precious and of great value but they were not the greatest of value. Those urns that were more highly sought and treasured were those that had a particular working upon them. The valuable urns were ones that had been broken apart. The beauty of these urns were that after they were broken, they were built together again using gold as the filling agent giving the urn a distinctive beauty and greater value. It was not until the urn was broken, could its creator piece it back together and make it something substantially more than it would have been in its original form.
You my dear, are a treasure of the Lord's and through your brokenness, He is glorified and He is remaking you into something even better than you could have dared imagine. Letting go is the HARDEST thing ever, I know all too well. His plans go beyond any imagining you, me or any other person could do.
I am praying for you and holding you up to our Father. He reminded me that He is in charge of you and thanked me for my concern. He is taking care of you and I see the treasure He is fighting for in you.
Much love.
mk
In brokeness we find beauty far more precious and far more rare than anything we can imagine. Carol you are right that God's dream is so much better than the broken one that I have my fist around, but I DARE say that He is going to take those broken pieces and make something completely new with them...for He doesn't fix the problems, but completely transforms. The shattered sea I'm floating on, that we all float on is there for a purpose...I know there are things I'm going to have to let go of, I'm trusting God to let me know what they are and not only allow me to lay them down, but let go of them...I know it won't happen on the first try either...
There is a beautiful Christian movie called Joshua...it is one of my favorites...and in a splendid scene...the young woman is struggling with who she is, what she wants, what she can't have, so on and so forth, and she shatters a glass heart on the steps of Joshua's workshop and storms out...at the end of the movie Joshua leaves and He leaves the young woman an angel built from the broken pieces of the glass heart! GOD MAKES ALL THINGS NEW...and I'm waiting for the Mosaic that He is going to make with my broken dream, with all our broken dreams...it's worth the pain, it's worth it!
God is good...I love you all and I thank you for your prayers and support. I have been reached out to more this week than I ever imagined, so God answers prayers truly!