Broken Alabaster Jar!

I am reminded of my Broken Dreams post awhile back. It I and mas easy to reconcile yourself to the fact that you live in a broken dream and there is no hope beyond that; so we spend our time patching up the broken pieces as best we can in hopes that we make ourselves look presentable to the outside world and push on in our "Christian" duty.

So, what if we do live in a broken dream…Becky from In the Quiet was talking about brokenness in her blog the other day and she quoted a Henri Nouwen Devotional; "Fruits that Grow in Vulnerability":

"Fruits, however, come from weakness an vulnerability, and fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is fruit that grows through touching one another's wounds. Let's remind one another that what brings u true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness!"

Successfulness is what the world teaches us, you aren't anything unless you are successful. Becky's heart cry on her blog was that more often than not she seeks out success over being fruitful, but her desire is to become more fruitful. That is one of my biggest hearts cry as well. I think we all seek acceptance from the world. We want to be remembered for something…Satan feeds on that an makes us deflect our sight or focus from the One who bought us to those "things" we think will bring us happiness…in the end it opens up new and old wounds and leaves us completely broken.

For example: I can live a dual ideal of happiness in my head…(1) A famous movie star, dating and sleeping with guys in what I would deem a "committed" relationship…having "love" be poured into me, making gritty though provoking movies, winning numerous awards, being loved the world over, all the while making a stand for Christ (not sure how I will achieve that) or (2) Be a stay at home Mom, marry a devoted sold out and faithful Christian man, focus on writing and raising my children and spending lots of time with my husband on some ranch in Colorado…I'll be honest with you, both of these have their appeal! However, both are living for self! (1) You can probably see a little more clearly…fame and fortune obviously is not going to bring me the true happiness and joy I seek, finding comfort in a few "meaningful" relationships will never slate my hunger for real love, and being some phenomenal Christian that everyone looks to and praises will only bring me glory not the Father. Now, you may think that (2) is a really good and right choice (and frankly it is the choice that looks more appealing to me right now), but that married devoted sold out faithful Christian man will not fill my desire for completeness and oneness…it will only consume him and leave me thirsting for more (I believe in a relationship it is more about pouring yourself into someone that one what you get out of it, I have to be willing to give more than I receive)…my children, while I can pour my hope and love into them cannot be my life my everything…after all they are His not mine…nature while visually stimulating to me and moving won't take all the bad angry feelings out of my heart…so what then? Am I saying that all these things are bad and we are just on a never ending spiraling slope of hopelessness?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

One of my biggest "resolutions" for the New Year if you will is to give all my broken dreams to God. I hold onto my dreams so tightly that the blood often drips down my arm. I struggle to give them over…and so I'm working on laying them down at the Father's feet. This is not an easy thing. I've been alive for 25 years and a Christian for 12, and I've gotten myself in a pattern of living that is hard to break. Only He can do that, but I've vowed not to live another to live another year like I did in the past! I have but only one life to live!!!! I don't want it to be a chasing after the wind.

In my comment to Becky's post I said that I invision myself as a broken Alabaster Jar with sweet lavendar perfume wafting from the broken pieces…I find that is most pleasing to God!''

My pastor touched further on this in his studies on Sunday. He talks about Sunday morning how Solomn could literally have anything in this world he desired, but still found it meaningless. "We often come not expecting anything from God, so we leave not experiencing anything from Him!" Solomon states in Ecclesiastes that life will go by quicker than you think it will so it is important to surrender while you are young to the Lord…everything else is a chasing after the wind.

12But, my child, be warned: There is no end of opinions ready to be expressed. Studying them can go on forever and become very exhausting!
13Here is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is the duty of every person. 14God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad.
- Ecclesiastes 12: 13-14 NLT
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In the Sunday night service my pastor spoke from Luke 10: 1-16

1After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. 3Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. 4Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.
5"When you enter a house, first say, 'Peace to this house.' 6If a man of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; if not, it will return to you. 7Stay in that house, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for the worker deserves his wages. Do not move around from house to house.
8"When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is set before you. 9Heal the sick who are there and tell them, 'The kingdom of God is near you.' 10But when you enter a town and are not welcomed, go into its streets and say, 11'Even the dust of your town that sticks to our feet we wipe off against you. Yet be sure of this: The kingdom of God is near.' 12I tell you, it will be more bearable on that day for Sodom than for that town.
13"Woe to you, Korazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago, sitting in sackcloth and ashes. 14But it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon at the judgment than for you. 15And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted up to the skies? No, you will go down to the depths.
16"He who listens to you listens to me; he who rejects you rejects me; but he who rejects me rejects him who sent me."
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What Does It Mean to be an Ambassador for Christ?
- We are ambassadors for the Lord!
- Everyone has a gift or talent for the Kingdom
- You may be surprised what it is!
- It is never in our own strength!
1. Ambassadors PRAY!!! (v.2)
2. Laborers God to Work (v.3-7)
We will spend time in prayer spend time in Bible Study, but we rarely just spend time with God…set and listen to what He has to speak over us. It isn't our mission to try and coach something out of God, all He wants is to reveal His will…we just have to let Him.
3. The Path is Difficult and Dangerous. (You don't have to worry about the enemy if you are on His team!)
4. Being an Ambassador requires Faith and Discipline (v.8) (not as hard or difficult to fulfill a ministry that you are comfortable with!)
- Outside your Comfort Zone = faith & discipline!
- We should be willing to trust Him!
Ambassadors Have to Preach the Word! (v. 13-16) (God will hold us accountable by what has been given to us! "What have you done with what I've Given You!")

Finally, Ambassadors Praise the Lord (Our names are written down in Heaven…forever!)

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In closing I would like to quote something Marcia said over on The Desire…let this all be our hearts cry…

I want to allow the Spirit of God so badly wound my individuality that the safest place for me is the center of the flame; all of me and my human selfishness burned completely away!

Giving your dreams to God is never easy, but it is so worth it!

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PS...I'm going out of town tomorrow afternoon and won't be back until sometime Sunday so I won't be online until I get back! Going to Memphis with my sisters...baby sis Michelle is planning to move there!...Pray for us!

Comments

Pilot Mom said…
Excellent post, Melissa. Thank you for sharing your heart. I've said this many times over the years but it is much, much easier to lay EVERYTHING in our open hand than to keep holding on so tightly. When we hold on tightly it can hurt when God pries away our fingers. On the other hand, when it is laying there, made available to the Father, He may choose to take one for His use or He may choose to let them stay.

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