It's a Cycle!
Well, I thought if I'm going to start posting on a regular basis then I should probably let you know a little bit about what is going on with me. These last two months have been hell, there is just no other way to put it! I have never experienced a season like this in retail nor to I ever desire to do so again, and then I had overtaxed myself with things that I thought would get me in the spirit and I just worked myself to the bone until I had little to nothing to give back! God willing I will not be in retail next Christmas!
These last two month God has allowed satan to place me back into the Shadow of Death a little bit. I've just been spinning my wheels. In fact since growing up in church that is what my life tends to do...I have this great pivital moments and I fall flat on my face before the Lord and I'm like I promise...I promise...I promise...to live for you and then well, you know what I slip right back into my old though processes and chasings after the wind. Once again I had gotten myself back there. I just felt numb, I lived completely internal, and just was spinning my wheels. The difference about this time was all I wanted to do was go HOME....I was ready, REALLY READY for God to call my home...I ached for it...I questioned it, and even though I wasn't in the word I was doing a lot of talking with God and He was faithful.
December 31st rolled along and I was feeling mighty pitiful, disconnected with everything that I cared anything about and just feeling yucky! Something told me to check my email and so I did and it let me to Kat's blog and God revealed to me so much with what she wrote in her post that day...it was the words I needed to hear and it was my own heartbeat. I went to my church to ring in the New Year about 9:30pm at night. It was simply wonderful evening, and I unexpectedly got up and shared a bit of my testimony...God really called me to share and it was so unexpected...then that Sunday Morning I re-dedicated my life to Christ. I almost didn't heed his calling once again, but He kept pushing and pushing and I basically formally asked my whole church to pray for me.
Now, I'm not saying all of this to say well everything is coming up roses, far from it...satan has come in the back door and pounding hard on my mind and my resolve. I just know that if I don't start yielding to Him and living for Him then I have not idea what I will do. I'll have wasted my life...it will be all for nothing. So I ask humbly that you all remember me in prayer through this time and I will remember you. I'm so excited about this New Year and what it will have in store.
Let me just share with you some of the things that Christ has started to do in my life...
I received an outstretched hand from Kat! I got a call from Mary K from Brazil, from Brazil...did you hear me from Brazil, and I have to be completely honest that I think we really were able to get on a common ground and there was a lot of healing that was done, and she prayed over me, she prayed the words I needed to hear, and we just rejoiced in our renewed friendship! I got to have breakfast with my friend Teresa just this morning and I got to pray over her, I got to pray over the terrible struggles in her life, and I got to see Christ work and I can't wait to see what He will do...I've gotten emails from Holly, Krystal, Mary K, Roz, Jimmy and so many others. My friend Jamie is willing to go sit with me at the doctors office on the 20th just because she loves me. I'm planning to go at the end of March to visit North Carolina to see if it is the place for me, and I've seen how much you that read my blog care!
I'm just overwhelmed and I just want to live in this high if but for just a moment!
If but for just a moment!
May God lay a blanket of rest for us all and my we feast upon His bounty!
I love you all and I love Him!
Take Care!!!!
PS...I'm getting a new Computer and I have been on blog for over a year...if anyone cares! HEE! HEE!
These last two month God has allowed satan to place me back into the Shadow of Death a little bit. I've just been spinning my wheels. In fact since growing up in church that is what my life tends to do...I have this great pivital moments and I fall flat on my face before the Lord and I'm like I promise...I promise...I promise...to live for you and then well, you know what I slip right back into my old though processes and chasings after the wind. Once again I had gotten myself back there. I just felt numb, I lived completely internal, and just was spinning my wheels. The difference about this time was all I wanted to do was go HOME....I was ready, REALLY READY for God to call my home...I ached for it...I questioned it, and even though I wasn't in the word I was doing a lot of talking with God and He was faithful.
December 31st rolled along and I was feeling mighty pitiful, disconnected with everything that I cared anything about and just feeling yucky! Something told me to check my email and so I did and it let me to Kat's blog and God revealed to me so much with what she wrote in her post that day...it was the words I needed to hear and it was my own heartbeat. I went to my church to ring in the New Year about 9:30pm at night. It was simply wonderful evening, and I unexpectedly got up and shared a bit of my testimony...God really called me to share and it was so unexpected...then that Sunday Morning I re-dedicated my life to Christ. I almost didn't heed his calling once again, but He kept pushing and pushing and I basically formally asked my whole church to pray for me.
Now, I'm not saying all of this to say well everything is coming up roses, far from it...satan has come in the back door and pounding hard on my mind and my resolve. I just know that if I don't start yielding to Him and living for Him then I have not idea what I will do. I'll have wasted my life...it will be all for nothing. So I ask humbly that you all remember me in prayer through this time and I will remember you. I'm so excited about this New Year and what it will have in store.
Let me just share with you some of the things that Christ has started to do in my life...
I received an outstretched hand from Kat! I got a call from Mary K from Brazil, from Brazil...did you hear me from Brazil, and I have to be completely honest that I think we really were able to get on a common ground and there was a lot of healing that was done, and she prayed over me, she prayed the words I needed to hear, and we just rejoiced in our renewed friendship! I got to have breakfast with my friend Teresa just this morning and I got to pray over her, I got to pray over the terrible struggles in her life, and I got to see Christ work and I can't wait to see what He will do...I've gotten emails from Holly, Krystal, Mary K, Roz, Jimmy and so many others. My friend Jamie is willing to go sit with me at the doctors office on the 20th just because she loves me. I'm planning to go at the end of March to visit North Carolina to see if it is the place for me, and I've seen how much you that read my blog care!
I'm just overwhelmed and I just want to live in this high if but for just a moment!
If but for just a moment!
May God lay a blanket of rest for us all and my we feast upon His bounty!
I love you all and I love Him!
Take Care!!!!
PS...I'm getting a new Computer and I have been on blog for over a year...if anyone cares! HEE! HEE!
Comments
Heavenly Father, I know you can hear my prayers. I just pray that you will be with Melissa during this season of her life. Give her the peace she longs for; Wrap your arms around her and comfort her. Father we know of your healing powers and I just ask that a healing miracle would be done for my dear sister. Her love and desire for You is abundantl clear. We pray this in your son's name---Amen
mk