Best Intentions...

Sometimes in life we simply have the best intentions to do things and life just comes and interupts. Not that that is a bad thing at all, but I can clearly see how my life priorities are changing. I loved how Holy Mama said in her comment in my previous post that joy was all over what I wrote. Well, I think a lot of things are happening in my life and I want to just be able to sit down and spill them out to all of you. You who have listened to me when life seemed impossible to bear. You who brought me through so many hardships and pain. When life was so hard and the only way I could find solice was to come get on the computer and read your comments and what you wrote on your blog. My heart breaks and I have to admit that I do feel that I'm missing out on something by not being able to blog. I feel my life is twirling about in good, sad, joyful, tearful, somber, exciting, scary, awesome moments...and I just want to harness all of them and let them spill out and share them with those people that I love so much, that mean so much to me, that have given so much to me in time of need, but time just simply does not allow it at this time. So, I will not longer promise you more posts to come, or any of that. I hope to stay atop of what is going on with all of you and I hope that I'm able to turn this rusty old computer on a little more often....but, I also know that God is taking me down a new road of adventure and excitement, fear and trepidation(msp?)...and I'm trying to lean on Him.

This is what I feel like...I feel like I've crested a mountain top, thinking it a very giant mountain, climbing, sliding back, picking myself up, bloodying my knees, struggling and fighting against the dry and rocky sod, fighting for breath, struggling against the harness, fainting against the heat, having the Helper help me up and I've finally crested the top triumphant and joyful only to see a much larger mountain in the distance. I realize that the valley before has done nothing to really prepare my hinds feet and I've struggled unprepared and very much out of shape to the top. The valley I came from before was dark and scary with very little rest, but the valley that I see before me is lush and beautiful, rolling streams, plenty of sunshine, green grass, delicious fruit trees, and the hope of rest. I feel like I'm about halfway down my mountain now and soon will be in the midst of the green green valley. I shant(msp) stay as long in this valley, even though my heart desires it, but here is where I will meet Him. We will sit beside the cool waters and talk, catch up if you will, and I'll give Him my hand and I'll go through the valley of the shadow if death if He wants me to. When the time comes I will begin my climb up the larger mountain, and it will be hard, it will be scary, sometimes it will seem impossible and all I'll want to do is go back to that valley, but I'll have to press on because you never know what lies over the next mountain and I'll trust Christ and believe He has a divine plan for me.

The trip to North Carolina was hard and difficult, but I did it. It was also wonderful and comforting and I did it. I'm able to rationalize and wrap my head a little more clearly around the next steps. So, briefly let me lay out my plans for you. The month of May I will be job hunting online and sending out letters to businesses. June I sit down and talk to my parents and my boss about my move. Second week in July I will officially quit my job at Barnes and Noble (exciting and terrifying the point of no return)...by the second week in August my prayer is to be moved! Terrifying yet the right thing to do. I'm afraid I will chicken out, but you know I'm reminded of the first time I got up in front of the church to sing and the second time...both times I wanted to run and hide, both times I was met with love and healing.

Here I am at a crossroads in my life, and I just ask you to keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I love each and everyone one of you and if there is anything at all that I can pray over concerning you please email me. My focus is Bible reading and prayer for others right now. I want to make the right steps in my life and I want all our cups to be overflowing!

May God bless you all on your journey.

I wrote a poem for one of my dear friend's daughter...please take a look on the Writer's Corner.

Comments

jettybetty said…
Life is such an adventure! You will be in my thoughts and prayers--it will be so exciting to see what God has in store for you!
Bar Bar A said…
Oh Melissa, this made my day reading your words. I can't tell you how much I admire you for your faith, your willingness to embrace the adventure of life! I understand how you don't have time to blog (I am the opposite - I have too much time on my hands!) but when you do its so full!

Please do keep us updated from time to time. Seeing your comment on my blog today was a joy. I appreciate you so much. And...you are my Sara Groves connection! I LOVE HER and I LOVE YOU!
Dawn said…
Best of luck to you girl. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you look to your new adventure!
Pilot Mom said…
Melissa, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited for you!!!!!!!! I bet you can't tell, can you? ;D LOL!

Pilot should be in NC around Oct/Nov. It truly is a small world.

I will be praying for you, precious daughter of God! Lifting you up before His throne of grace and mercy!

I missed you while you were gone...I totally understand about not blogging because of time etc but on the other hand bummed because I always look forward to reading your posts! Even if you are down, you have a joy woven throughout your post!

Thank you for your kind words over at my place!
HolyMama! said…
you're following Him so closely, it sounds! And of course that means you'll be just great, and are right on course. I'm excited FOR you!
bjk said…
Go go go until He says NO......you go girl!
Becca said…
Its AWESOME how you're so calm now. It really amazes me. :)

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