Living in Verse 10

As many of you know I just got back from my visit to Asheville, NC. There were so many people praying for me that it wasn’t even funny and I got some of the most encouraging and uplifting emails that I could have ever asked for. I praise God for all my brothers and sisters in Christ who love me so much. I truly am one of the luckiest girls in the world. It is incredible to me how much God loves me. His love is beyond anything I could ask or imagine. I’m humbled that no matter how far I run or how angry I get at Him, He constantly and consistently continues to woo my heart and to shape my heart whether with moldable hands or sometimes even an exacta-knife, whatever it takes to make me who I should be in Him.

One of the most wonderful things happened while in Asheville and Hendersonville, NC…I fell madly, head over heels, in love with them and the people…most warmth and compassion and excitement I’ve felt from a group of people in FOREVER! My heart went pitter-pat, and my soul soared to new heights. It was what I envisioned when I first hoped to move. However, I was faced with every single obstacle imaginable. My heart was torn many different ways, and I felt God telling me gently, yet firmly, to wait. As my Grandmother said, “He has something better for you Melissa!” And I don’t want second best I want the best. In the midst of it I was trusting God. Many of the apartments didn’t have one bedroom available and I only looked at two apartment complexes. The one I wanted I wasn’t able to get because I didn’t have a job at this time. I got mad at God. I didn’t understand. Why did He place all of this in my precious little heart only to leave me without anything? I have to admit that these past two days that I’ve been home I have lifted defeated. I told God, “I can’t wait until the day comes when I can come to you in my brokenness and lay it down at your feet instead of going to my own vices to numb the pain.” He’s working on me; I’m just not there yet. He hasn’t forsaken me; He has even given me blessings in this moment. He is just going to have to let me know what the next step is. After the odd weekend, I don’t really know how else to describe it because it wasn’t anything like my trip to Winston-Salem, I wrote this prayer on the back the Asheville Mall map…

Lord,

I don’t want to be jumping the gun on anything. I want your will to be done in ALL! I know what you have set in my heart for this place, but Lord if this isn’t where I’m supposed to be all you have to do is let me know that. I pray fervently that you open the doors you would have me to go through and close the doors that you don’t want me to go through and bend my stubborn will to Yours. I can get so pig headed and arrogant and so certain that things are going to go a certain way and they don’t. Lord, I’m tired of running my LIFE! I need to live authentically and if there is on thing I know is that this weekend happened for a reason and I know what I still have in my heart, but I also know that your plans are far greater than mine. I loved those “Kimberley Place” Apartments, loved the area, and I LOVED Asheville and Hendersonville and all this area had to offer. I LOVED it! But, I give it to you. I lay it at your feet to do with as you will!...no take backs! I’m your servant and I want to serve you. I can’t go back! Maybe I should have stayed at B&N, maybe I should have been more responsible, but I can’t go back, all I can do is go forward & know & try to plant good seed for the reaping. You are my LIGHT! My all, my everything! I will go to the ends of the Earth if you ask me to. It’s not about me, it’s about you. Wherever you want me to go I will follow, you just have to tell me where that is. As my sister says, “Jonah was given Nineveh!” Calm my spirit. Calm us all Lord so that we can more readily do your will. It isn’t about the now. I want to have a good cry. I want you to love me Lord. Please let me know everything’s going to be alright!

Yours,
Melissa

I’m taking this week, my birthday week and sort of re-evaluating what I am to do. I have no idea what the next step is. I just ask that you all please pray for me as I pray for all of you. That I will listen to His will and not my own. That I will be His servant and strive to do His will.

I called this post “Living in Verse 10” because I received three verses of scripture where each point of scripture was found in verse 10 of different chapters in the Bible. God gave them to these wonderful women of God to share with me and my cup was filled to overflowing. My other Grandmother said, “Melissa, your birthday is going to be the turning point of something great!” I’m claiming that. I feel like this entry is so selfish. I apologize. Let me share with you the three verses that were given to me, first in the Message Adaptation and then in the NIV translation…

John 10:10 Message
6-10Jesus told this simple story, but they had no idea what he was talking about. So he tried again. "I'll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn't listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for—will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.

10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. NIV

Ephesians 2:10 Message
7-10Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.

10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. NIV

Isaiah 41:10 Message
8-10"But you, Israel, are my servant.
You're Jacob, my first choice,
descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, 'You're my servant, serving on my side.
I've picked you. I haven't dropped you.'Don't panic. I'm with you.
There's no need to fear for I'm your God.I'll give you strength.
I'll help you.
I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - NIV