I'm HOPE-FULL!!!!


1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
- Romans 12: 1-2

Dear Gracious Father,

…my spiritual act of worship. Oh, Lord in my covenant with you this year I stated that this year would truly be a year of worship and praise and adoration to your Name and work in my life. For 26 years it has been all about little ole’ me. Now is the time for it to be about You. What do you wish to do through me? What is your call and heart for my life? As we sit on a weathered bench, what I wouldn’t give for 3 more hours with you. I need you; I need to run away with you. I want people to see you in every inflection of my voice, every turn of my eye, every gesture that my body makes. Not only that, I want to feel your power and love coursing through my veins, giving me strength and assurance. I want to sit under your waterfall and drink deeply. I want to rest on the shore with you, to fill your arms around me, to drink from your cup, and lean against your chest and feel your heartbeat. This love is so deep and I feel so surface. Lord, I want to offer my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I want You to take captive my mind and bring it unto right thinking. It is a choice Father, and a glorious process. I need your hands to stroke my hair and your gentle words to calm my spirit. I need your help. I need to learn to wait and trust on your will for my life, and that the now is what I have, and it is worth reaching, striving, growing, and learning from. It is the adventure and it is the place where I should live and find life abundant. I do not want to conform any longer to the pattern of this world. This world lies, cheats, steals, and kills the soul. I truly, more than anything need to be transformed by the renewing of my mind (every second so it seems). I want your good, pleasing, and perfect will in my life. Lord, forgive me, make me new, and help me to see the goodness in where you are leading and more importantly the goodness in the waiting for those good things. I’m not ready, now is not the time or the place, unto your hands I commit my will, spirit, and life. I love you without end. I hope that you still see something good in me, and that I don’t let you down. I want to serve, but I also hold on, help me to loosen my grip and to fall into your arms. This is the only safe place.

Yours Completely,
Melissa Ann

Sometimes I think about what my new name will be when I get to Heaven. When I was little dying and Heaven and all that stuff used to scare me. Probably because we had a preacher that focused His every energy on the end times, and in a matter that would frighten a little child, however, even in those moments I still would think about the name God would give me. It will be a cleansing name, a freeing name, a complete name. I love my name now, Melissa. It means “honey bee” and I think it suits me perfectly. Now, I literally ache for Heaven, the promise of it, the laughter and fellowship we will share with Jesus. Can you imagine it? Every action that we will do will be for His glory and His worship. Another refreshing thought is that we will have purpose in Heaven; there will be work to do. However, the only glory, esteem, treasure we will have is in our praise and worship to the Lord Jesus Christ. Glory be.

Well, my brain was all consumed with bumble bees earlier and I just needed to sit down and write a blog to help release some of the tension. Let me catch all of you up on where I am at. First, I have just closed a very important chapter in my life. Last Thursday was my last day with my beautiful children at the HisKids program. This was something I am still mourning and rejoicing over. Those kids and that job was an absolute JOY! It was like strength to these weary bones and renewed the promise and hope that Christ does indeed have a Sovereign plan for my life. It was just awesome and I will miss it.

For the summer I am working at a Christian Daycare at a church. It is not like my experience with HisKids and I truly covet your prayers in the situation as I struggle through the steps to be all that God wants me to be there. I know that God has purposed it for a reason and I just hope that I don’t make Him look like a fool.

I am also applying for a Christian Mission School. I have just submitted all the paperwork and have yet to hear anything back. I also covet your prayers for this situation. What I am struggling with at this point is waiting on God. I’m still skeptical; even after all He has done for me. If you want more details please email me. The struggle now is the waiting; I’m an immediacy kind of gal. I’m fighting to lean on God and trust that He will not leave me without a path.

VBS for our church is coming up and I’m SO thrilled. I will be teaching for the first time. I will have 3, 4, & 5 year olds. What an age range huh? I know God is going to provide in an awesome way with these children and I just can’t wait to see what He is up to.

I have entered a writing contest, and since it is ongoing I will write about that a little later. It is fun, small, and nothing much, but it got me to writing again which is what God has been wanting me to do.

There is an unspoken prayer request that has been burdening me for some time. The answer, I hope is just around the corner. I just ask prayer that I will hear God’s voice in the matter, I think He has already been speaking and it is freaking me out, and that I will accept His will in this situation and follow where He leads.

I don’t really know where He will take me; all I know is that I’m going to follow. I’m tired of fighting and when I do it always ends up poorly. Life is good and I’m striving to look at each new day as a glorious miracle. There are so many that are going through so much more than I am, and handling it with far better grace and style. I’m thankful for such Godly examples.

I love the Lord with all my heart, and my prayer is that He will pour out His blessing and mercy on each of you.

I am HOPE-FULL!

Comments

Dawn said…
Melissa what a blessing it was reading your post! As I read your prayer I could truly feel God wrap His arms around me. It was a prayer that I needed also. Girl you are a true gift and I am so thankful to know you even if it is in blogland. I wish I had friends like you that I was with everyday, to have lunch with. What a better person I would be having someone like you in my life face to face, but there's something good about this internet....I get to have moments of blessings like this one.

Ok VBS..what joy. Several years ago I taught for the first time the 4 year olds....like 12-13 4 year olds and one of them my very cute and Mr I have her wrapped around my finger 2nd cousin :) I was there to teach them but girl they gave me so much in return. Where I am now they have day VBS instead of night time VBS and I just wish I could be a part of it! Have fun and enjoy all the cute blessings!

Love ya my friend!
Pilot Mom said…
Melissa, what a HEARTWARMING post! I am always encouraged and uplifted when I drop in for a visit at your place!

And, my ice tea with lemon was perfect! ;P

Thank you for your fresh openess with which you share your life with us. I am continuing to pray for you...
jettybetty said…
You have such a beautiful attitude! What a blessing you will be to those children this summer! Please keep writing! God has plans for you. =-)

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