Building Sandcastles on His Foundation...

...it is worth repeating...this was an old post from last July and I just feel that it is worth exploring again, at least, I know it is for me.

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the Watchman stands guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat for He grants sleep to those he loves. –Psalm 127: 1-2

I’ve been building sandcastles on His foundation. Like a small child in yellow sundress and clear jelly shoes, pale and shovel in hand, I wobble my chubby legs down to the shoreline. Giggles escape from my mouth as the foamy water slips through my shoes and toes. Arching my little arm I plunge my plastic shovel deep into moist sand; chipped pink nail polish on tiny fingers gripping with all there might…shovel shovel shovel until the bucket is full! With both hands grasped tight on the handle, face scrunching up under the weight of it, tongue sticking out for balance I waddle back to a piece of Earth smooth and flat form the tides ebb and flow and begin work on my Masterpiece. Many more trips are made; pounds of wet sand are transplanted into a beautiful castle fit for a princess waiting for a handsome prince…complete with a moat filled with sandy water. Triumphant and full of tired satisfaction, I plop down on the ground scrunching and relaxing my toes and clapping my hands high over my head, sweaty ringlets blowing in the wind, singing some great victory song over the Masterpiece I’ve created. The days festivities are filled with thought of the brilliant castle and in my dreams I go there fighting dragons, wearing crowns, and sleeping in a big princess bed!
Eyes pop open bright and early, mind racing with thoughts of my castle…”Daddy! Daddy! Can we go see? Let’s go see my castle!” “Sweetheart,” he gently tries to prepare me, “your castle is probably washed away by the evening tide” “Oh no Daddy, my castle is still very much intact!” Daddy and I trot down to the shoreline, my chubby little hand clasped in his strong rough worked hand. Big fat tears crest my eyes reflecting the smooth mounds…the sole ruins of the castle I built. Spilling over my lip starts to quiver and then wails and screams come from my shaky lips…”Oh, Daddy! Daddy! Where did my castle go? I want it, why can’t I have it!?...Please, Daddy tell me why?”
How many times have I done this with the Lord! Creating something of impermanence on a permanent foundation. I don’t trust my Dad enough to build something solid so I construct a make believe world of sand and water that makes me feel safe and comfortable. Each night I fall to sleep with the sweet confection of my creation only to have my dreams dashed upon the rocks. The powerful tide of my Savior sweeps over my creation and swiftly drags it out to sea. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten caught in the undertow…fighting…flailing my arms, most assuredly going to drown…instead of allowing the sweet throws of the crashing waves to consume me. My sins are out on the ocean floor, but letting the waves wash me clean, purify me, is a completely different story.

It truly is a mystery. Why I would want to build something so temporary when the Creator of the Universe is asking to build something so permanent. It is astonishing that I would think so much on the now and the things of this world and weigh so little on eternity. It is beyond a privilege to talk to the Alpha & Omega, yet most of my prayers are half-given and selfish! I say I want to live an authentic Christian life, all the while I’m flailing saying look at me look at me.

I had the distinct pleasure of reading through the Psalms this past month. Let me share with you two more pieces of scripture from that wonderful book that I find relate in some way to this topic.
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing! – Psalm 143:10

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His Hand. – Psalm 37: 23-24

Lord Father, Savior, My All:

I don’t want this to be for show. You know the demons that take hold of my mind. It is rarely quiet in this head of mine. Still my spirit, rip the very sand from neath my feet until all I’m left with is a sure foundation and two bloody knees. I’m ready Lord. I want the Romance not the arranged marriage. I want life not existence. Shake me up a little even though that scares me to death. Let me be genuine…Lord I don’t want to be fake. Let me serve You, love You, talk to You! You are there as soon as I lower my head…let me be reminded to do that unnumbered times a day. I’m tiered of the sandcastles, I’m tired of the donkey nodding (you guys will understand that later), frankly I’m just tired of doing it alone. You aren’t Mr. Fix-it! You aren’t a person I can give an itemized list to of wants and desires. I can’t control you with my good behavior or lose you with my bad. You are not safe…you are wild and unfettered and a consuming fire. Burn me up until all that remains is You! Oh Lord, how I long to live in your presence. How I long to hear your voice. You are good indeed. I love you and I lay this life at your feet. Let me be about the business of others.

Yours Completely,Melissa