Reflection of Providence

It seems like a lifetime has passed since Waverly Hills - the etching of that night still strong in my mind. The memory of that wonderful evening will never leave me. I will hold onto it & treasure it as one of those moments in time where you realize you are just along for the ride. This moment is not a result of anything you have done, but a deep privilege – so enjoy it! I knew so little of AGH. I am so thankful for that now.   I didn’t have the opportunity to go in with any pre-conceived ideas of the movie or the individuals. The experience began as a completely blank canvas which, in the end, was filled with the most complex, rich, colorful painting imaginable. In the five months since, my personal life has taken some wonderfully unexpected & painfully beautiful turns. The hard decisions, the wounds I caused, the fear of things never getting put back together were, it turns out, rich blessings in disguise. I suddenly understood that I could take hard change ...

There is always a dull ache for me to put pen to parchment. It usually happens at the most inopportune moments. When I’m working, driving, or doing basic algebra. I used to write every day…EVERY DAY! Now my journal is collecting dust & I find it increasingly more difficult to hold onto those epiphany moments. This time of year would usually consist of Hot Chocolate, Christmas music & my little fingers stroking the keyboard pouring out some sappy, slightly melodramatic Christmas story for all to read. I’m missing these moments…the moments that made me a bit saner. I’ve been a wee bit neurotic here lately. I’m playing the “pretty please” game…”pretty please won’t you like me!” I’m driving myself a bit batty. I feel untethered, lost & floating in an expanse of nothingness. I feel, often, like I’m peering in at my life through a porthole. This rich, amazing, unbelievable life God has given me. I’ve been treating my heart a bit like an ash heap - the refuse of this life s...