Tethered to His Mast: Part One: So This is JOY!
“There is
faith that in the midst of the setbacks, God is setting up everything for the comeback
of your joy.” – Ann Voskamp
It was early afternoon when I pulled
the weathered journal I had been keeping since 2005 out of my suitcase. I sat
on the couch to journal about the night before. Sophie came over, eager,
entreating to know what I held in my hand. I began to share my journey with
this beautiful leather bound journal. As I turned the pages I showed her the
different things I had written: prayers to God, letters I couldn’t send, things
I hadn’t shared with anyone else. She was fascinated. Sophie is a gifted
writer. She weaves magic into her storytelling. She has already developed a cadence
that is all hers. I cannot wait to see what she does with her writing in the
future. It was a gift to share my journal with her. It was a gift to take pen
to parchment. This was something I had not done in quite some time.
I have just
brewed a pot of Indian Shores Coffee in my stovetop percolator. Pouring a
delicious cupful, adding stevia and cinnamon, felt right for this journey of
pealing back the pages of my journal to peek inside.
I like
titling things. One of my favorite parts about a bookstore is reading titles
and the interpretation of those titles in the cover art. So, a title was
important for this blog series. I have often used the phrase, “Tethered to His
Mast” in other writings. It is a line in an Andrew Peterson song that resonated
with me. This first entry was difficult to title.
I remember
stepping out of a shower. I had washed away sand and salt from sun burned skin.
A few more freckles were sure to pop across my pink-pale arms (I absolutely
LOVE my freckles). I was singing “So This is Love” from the Disney version of
Cinderella. You all know how much I love anything to do with the
Cinderella story. In the end I remembered the above quote by Ann Voskamp and
chose to marry the two resonating loves together.
So this is
joy…
Early mornings with Steven are one of
the best gifts a girl can ask for. He comes in Thursday morning, my first full
morning of the trip, and snuggles right next to me. He asks for my phone and
plays it for a brief moment. Then, I hear his belly rumble. I cannot resist
getting up with him. I fix him a banana and we watch lightning cut through
night sky as rumbles of thunder mix with crashing waves – brilliant cascading
music. The light dispels darkness and we shed our blanket to walk out on the
back deck. He has cereal, I an Einstein Bagel. As we step out onto the back
deck Steven squeals, “Wissa…look…it’s a rainbow! OH…MY…GOSH!” He is visibly
shaking with utter joy and delight as he speaks these last words. I am taken in
with him, praising God for this unmissed moment. I could have missed it. I
could have felt compelled to stay in bed. I could have admonished him for
coming into my room early. But, I didn’t do any of these things. I got up and
went on an adventure with a little boy that showed me shear and utter JOY!
Here are the
words I journaled Friday morning, after a joyous parody of child shenanigans:
There is a
melody, a soft strong undercurrent, a mystical cadence, in waves breaking to
shore. The sun is expansive - mirroring on tides blue. I knew this journey
would not render much sleep. These joyous sacred moments are hard to fully
measure. There is truly nothing more precious sacred than a small frame
snuggling close in wee hours of morning. They seek out love, finding it sure,
they relax - sleep transfigures bubbled energy to serenity. Is that not how we
are as His children? After all the running, resisting, yelling, and hiding we
seek Him out in still of night, snuggle close, and fall asleep, serene, next to
Loves sure frame.
I am all
emotion right now! It is very likely lack of sleep!
One of the
joys of vacation is about a mile walk to the Indian Shores Coffee House. Did I
mention it’s vacation, so I am trying a different flavored coffee a day –
because I can! I had promised Rachael I would come right back, so I did not
linger long. Just long enough to eat a muffin and savor these words from Ann
Voskamp:
“What
insanity compels me to shrivel up when there is joy’s water to be had here? In
this wilderness, I keep circling back to this: I’m blind to joy’s well every
time I really don’t want it. The well is always there. And I choose not to see
it. Don’t I really want joy? Don’t I really want the fullest life? For all my
yearning for joy, longing for joy, begging for joy – is the bald truth that I
prefer the empty dark?
(On a side
note, I just took my first sip of Indian Shores Coffee after writing that last
paragraph, and I am there, sun-kissed, freckled, manic curls, hazel eyes –
blessed!)
Let me share
with you about the night that brought on these thoughts of joy:
Steven comes
and crawls into bed with me at 1:00am and immediately falls asleep taking up my
whole half of the bed. After a failed attempt of sleeping in the living room I,
with Amy’s help, move him to the end of the air mattress.
At around
2:30am Rachael wakes up screaming. I think she felt Steven at the end of her
bed and didn’t know what it was. I re-adjust her, hold her tight, kissing that
sweet forehead, and she settles back to sleep.
4:00am both
Rachael and Steven crawl back into my bed. We are packed like sardines with
Sophie in the bed, but cozy. We begin to doze back to slumber when Haley’s
alarm on her iTouch goes off like a bomb at 5:30am. It scares everyone,
including Haley, half to death. The only one still sound asleep, can you guess,
that’s right…Sophie. At this point children are re-arranged on the blow-up
mattress, drinks are passed out, and Wild Kratts (I just love this show) is
turned on. We begin to settle again.
And all this
is JOY! All these moments of giggles and frustrations, silliness and snuggles….this
is beautiful preserving water from the well! And life truly is well!
I didn’t
come expecting sleep on this vacation. I came expecting this. I am tearing up
just thinking about it.
SO, THIS IS
JOY!
I don’t get to spend time with Wyatt
much anymore. In fact, this is the one little being that I missed having close
moments with on the trip. He is such a big boy these days. The morning after
all of these shenanigans he and I got a brief moment on the back deck. Others
soon joined us in community, but the brief moment of talking about his boat and
life was life preserving for me. A conversation with Wyatt always leads to
something deeper. He cannot help himself. He is an old soul in young frame. It
was a bubbling over moment for me. A moment, that as I type it, tears are slipping
from my eyes.
So, what is
the point of these words on illumined screen? I talked with a young husband whose
wife is very sick at the Hope Lodge yesterday. They let me read a card her aunt
had sent her. It was a belly laugh sort of card. He said, “You know Melissa, as
serious as it is, we have to laugh about it. It is our goal every day to find
humor and laughter in our situation.”
Joy does not
derive from circumstances. It comes with how you see these circumstances. When
I was young and naive about what my life would look like, I thought joy would
be found when I obtained certain things. Joy does not work that way at all. It
is the one reason why I was meant to sing the song, “Where Joy and Sorrow Meet”
by Avalon. Joy often meets with sorrow. It is the bittersweet cup that is
tender, lovely, and heartbreaking. It produces the richest of joys. It pulls
the veil and places us into the very heartbeat of God.
So, consider
it all joy! ALL JOY! ALL…IS…WELL!
Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and joy are in his dwelling place.- 1 Chronicles 16:27
He will yet fill your mouth with
laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. – Job 8:21
But let all who take refuge in you be
glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that
those who love your name may rejoice in you. – Psalm 5:11
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because
you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let
perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not
lacking anything. – James 1: 2-4
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