snow

“The snow reminded me of the beauty and mystery of creation of the essential joy that is life.” – Orhan Pamuk
As a child the snow enchanted. I was fascinated how this frozen precipitation so easily changed everything it touched. I was always saddened when the smooth layers of glistening white were muddied by footsteps or vehicles. It seemed a travesty – an interruption to serene tranquility. Transitioning into adulthood and responsibility snow has become an inconvenience. A wonderful friend turned bully.
“She is not worried about the cold or snow for her family, for she has clothed them all in warm, crimson coats.” – Proverbs 31:21 The Voice
I wish I could say I did not worry about the cold or snow, but the foot of snow in the Bluegrass area was difficult. I was angry at the snow, and if I were completely honest, a little angry with God. Why would He do such a thing? Can’t winter just be over? Why do we have to have this season anyway?
You see, I work for an establishment that is required to stay open no matter the weather. This girl has to be strategic. Fortunately, I can live on site for a period of time if need be. Unfortunately, it leads to little time that is my own.
Winter encumbers and buries a soul. It can be a heavy cloak not easily shaken.
Just as physical seasons change the format of the Earth, so the spiritual seasons can change the format of our heart. If we allow the “God Effect” to transpire, then there will be growth, bounty, and a walking with the Son that is unmatched. If we hem and haw at the process, we will become like snow plowed – dark and tarnished.
“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”
– Isaiah 55: 10-11 NKJV
I sometimes feel God makes mistakes. I know He doesn’t. I do trust His providential hand in all He does. But, I can get discouraged with the onslaught. Isaiah 55 has long been one of my favorite chapters in all of scripture. There is so much to glean from this passage. God says: that the Word that comes from My mouth, “shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it”. It is ultimately in His hands not mine. There are circumstances that dumfound me. The more I age, hopefully in wisdom, I quit fighting Him. I don’t always succeed in that endeavor, but I try.
Per example; this year, 2015: the year of wonder, has bumped and bruised a bit along the way. I fought with my landlord about mice in my little apartment, winter derailed and family issues swayed my foundation. Like the frigid sod under my feet, I felt numb and unyielding. I have struggled to feel the presence of God.
As with the physical seasons, there are spiritual seasons I love more than others. I wish I could live amidst the growth and bloom of spring, drink languid of the warm “Son-filled” days of summer, and reap the harvest of autumn. When it comes to winter, I hunker down and try to get through it. 
“Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments…”
Deuteronomy 7: 9 NKJV
“So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help.”
-          Isaiah 30:18 NLT
Winter is often about waiting, but it doesn’t mean that God is not working. His compassion and love are always faithfully at work. He structures our lives with purpose. His glory will be manifested by what He accomplishes through us.
I revisit my childhood wonder of snow and I begin to see. I begin to see myself as the Earth under blanket white. Bathed in crimson, I was transformed; clean. Just like a snowy landscape, I am unmarred and beautiful – changed and made new in God’s eyes.
I often try to clean His love right off. I attempt to carve a path of my own through His mercy. Why am I so infinitely stubborn to have my way? In parallel, the same destruction of the snow that brought my little heart so much sadness is equal to the sadness felt by the Father when I rush past a season He has brought me.
So, I will wait. I will wait and rejoice. I will lay prostrate blanketed by His HESED: his consistent, ever-faithful, relentless, constantly pursuing, lavish extravagant, unrestrained, furious love. I will allow His love, like snow, to melt into me making me a ground that can be tilled and seeded. I will share the harvest it renders.
“He gives snow like wool; He scatters the frost like ashes.” – Psalm 147:16 NASB
“Come now, and let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, the will be like wool.” – Isaiah 1:18
 
My Sweet Savior!
How I love you? I want to break my heart wide open and let you pour in!
Break through the frozen sod that bars Your love from me. I am sorry that I have put up walls. I am good at putting up walls. I see this clearly.
I want more. I want more of You. A blanket of Your love falling fresh on me, transforming me, and making me new.
Help me to yield to Your will.
I understand that sorrow and joy are a part of the equation.
I am so infernally exhausted from this numbing. It is like a cancer that consumes the heart. Jesus, tender me.
The shaft of moonlight on the trees, bare and stoic, is an immovable picture of your unyielding strength. Snowfall that covers hard ground, making it white, lovely, new is a reminder of how you make me new. I will embrace the winter.
Each day you teach me. Each day you love me. You not only call me from the cleft of the rock, but you break down walls. You rescue me.
I am your beloved. I am pleasing to you. You love me far too much to leave me as I am.
Thank you Father for spiritual seasons that change my heart and my thinking of You.
You are great God. I fall into Your mystery and am made smooth by Your waves.
Pour in and out of Your broken vessel that people may see more of Your light through this alabaster cracked.
Make me white as snow!
Amen and amen and amen!

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