Pen to Parchment!

My hands are trembling/tingling as I begin to write this. It has been too long since I’ve poured out my thoughts into a blog. I was talking with someone the other day about what I was planning to do with the rest of my life, and I said, “I think God wants me to write fiction for a living.” I started to think about that in great depths and realized that I haven’t written anything in months. The last thing I wrote was forced. I was attempting to be obedient to the Lord and submit a work of fiction to a writing contest, which I did. (I have gotten the results of that contest by the way, and I did not win. There is a link to that story at the bottom of this post.) It was such a strained and unpleasant experience, and that saddens me. I used to LOVE to write. The thoughts could not come fast enough. I would blog every single day about God, life, love, friends, etc… I also delighted in writing fiction.

My most joyful experience was re-writing one of my Christmas stories a few years ago “An Angel for Christmas”. It was actually the first Christmas story I ever gave to anyone else way back in 9th Grade. It became a 10 chapter short story. There was nothing like that experience, EVER. It was the most profound thing I have done to date. I miss that journey where words flow easily. Where thoughts come so fast that you are not sure you are going to get them down. I’m struggling even as I write this.

I have been very depressed/discontent lately. I combine those words because I’m not sure depressed is the right word, life has been really good. I’m also not sure that discontent is the right word. I have had longing and apathy as bed fellows for far too long. I think it is time to get back on the wagon. The best way to overcome writer’s block is to just do it. I haven’t made time for this. I haven’t made time for myself, for God, for this journey. I’m so excited about what God is going to do. Yet, I keep trying to figure it out, even guide Him. Maybe, if I sit back and do what I’m supposed to be doing, like write every single day and spend time alone quietly reflectively resting in Him, then maybe, just maybe I can let loose all these things that are binding my hands and allow His perfect definable will come to fruition in my life.

Those that know me best know what passion writing is for me. For a long while I would never admit to myself that it could be something I could do for a living. I’m still scared, so scared of rejection. I also know that so many of you have encouraged me in this, pushed me to consider this as a path that God may want me on. I’m just amazed that I’m actually getting a blog in. That I actually sat down and started typing. It is extremely cathartic for me. It is healing and restorative. I love to challenge myself and others with what I write.

I will make a promise to myself and you guys that I will strive to write more, even if no one ever reads it but me. Now is the time, now is the journey.

I love you all.

Melissa

PS…the second half of my trip will come next!

Here is link to my story = "Princess Ann: an unlikely fairytale", it got all smooshed in copying and I was just too lazy to fix it, so if you are having trouble reading it and want to read it send me a message at handofprovidence@hotmail.com or my gmail account and I'll send you a copy. It just happend to be my 100th post on my Writer's Corner :) That makes me happy!!! It was true obedience to God!

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