Laughing at God!
Oh the sweet
lessons of God! There are moments that stagger. I am undone at how our precious
Jesus continually displays His inestimable character and wondrous heartbeat for
His children. There is a crucial difference in living and serving if a dream
does not become reality and laughing at the thought of God providing a blessing
beyond, what you deem, your zenith. I am more careful and cautious in my
reverence of His will over my life. I am learning to carve out hallowed spaces
and kneel barefoot on holy ground before Him. The lesson He taught has ushered
me into a season of rejoicing.
“When the food was ready, Abraham took some yogurt and milk
and the roasted meat, and he served it to the men. As they ate, Abraham waited
on them in the shade of the trees.
“Where is Sarah, your wife?” the visitors asked.
“She’s inside the tent,” Abraham replied.
Then one of them said, “I will return to you about this
time next year, and your wife, Sarah, will have a son.”
Sarah was listening to the conversation from the tent.
Abraham and Sarah were both very old by this time; and Sarah was long past the
age of having children. So she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could
a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master – my
husband – is also so old?”
Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why
did she say, ‘can an old woman like me have a baby?’ Is anything too hard for
the Lord? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”
Sarah was afraid, so she denied it, saying, “I didn’t
laugh.”
But the Lord said, “No, you did laugh.” – Genesis 18:
8-15 NLT
“No, you did
laugh.”
I find this
translation so poignant. I often view Sarah a bit harshly. Why couldn’t she
trust God and his promises? Why did she try to scheme to have her way – having
Abraham sleep with Hagar?
In the light
of some tender revelation I realize how like Sarah I really am. I look at her
heart differently. I see the scope of disbelief that arose there. How could
such a hope and a dream actually come to fruition? Possibly Sarah had
reconciled herself that this would never be. The lineage of her husband would
be through Ishmael. She just couldn’t quite see the purpose or plan that God
had for her life.
I can only
imagine Sarah’s reaction when she first felt Isaac move. How her heart must
have swelled as her womb grew to encompass this promise of God. God is always
working in our lives. We are ministers as well as ministered to. It is perfect
mystery that we can do both in the same breath…
“We are held by hands that are able
to fill us continually. Not just full, but to overflowing. These are hands that
will never let us go and we can rest in the promise of their faithfulness.” –
David Arms
“You’re not
Sarah, but I am still God.”
This
statement prevailed in my heart days after the tender conversation with a
caregiver.
It began
simple enough – chit-chat about the weather, treatment, and the well-being of
each person. Then, one of the caregivers mentioned her eight year old son was
coming for a visit. As the conversation continued she shared with me that she
had him at 40.
I giggled,
brushing it off, “Well, that gives me hope!”
The fire
danced behind her eyes as she shared her story with me:
I had friends who would put prayers
in the prayer box at church asking that God send me husband. I told them, “Well,
He certainly isn’t listening”. Finally, I got to the point where I told God if
He wanted me to get married He would have to send Him to my doorstep.
She went on
to tell me that she met the man she was to marry and within three months they
were married. Three months after that she was pregnant. Her brother passed away
during this time. What would have been an inconceivable time for her family was
softened with the coming birth of her son.
Through this
entire conversation I continued to brush her words off as if they were a fly
buzzing about my face; not taking to heart the truth of what she was telling
me. Then, she said:
God’s timing was perfect! I didn’t
understand it, but He did. I was standing in the shower one day, approximately
eight months pregnant, 40 years old, and telling God, “I’m not Sarah. I cannot
do this.” Without hesitation God spoke over me, “You’re not Sarah, but I’m
still God!”
I caught a
glimpse of her in the rearview mirror. The Spirit of God lingered over her. It
was palpable and it unsettled me.
If you have
read my post, A Table for One, you know my tenderness for living purposefully
as a single woman. Yet, I had grown too comfortable in that pilgrimage. I was
persuaded that God, in fact, would not bring me a husband or children because I
was past the point where He would grant that benediction.
The
conversation with this caregiver wouldn’t abandon my thoughts. It as if God
hummed a tune just for my soul. This is what I gleaned from His refrain:
1. Not the whole, but in part, I allowed
this beautiful creation to go through what she did so she could sit in this van
and speak this word over you Melissa - don’t deny her blessing in this by
brushing it off!
2. Your cavalier thoughts as she shared
her story were the same as Sarah laughing at me when I told Abraham she would
have a child. You were laughing at me, Melissa!
3. I am still God, my timing is perfect,
and I will fulfill my plan in your life!
I will fulfill my plan in your life!
He has
ushered me into humble worship and grace. I love when God surprises me. He
flips my heart and my thought process into a different skew. I didn’t even
realize I was looking at things askew until he set things right. I am subservient
and less likely to laugh at how He desires to work in and through me.
I may never
get married nor have children of my own. Yet, I no longer will say what God
cannot do! My heart’s desire is to say, emphatically, “YES” to what He has for
me!!
Never miscalculate
what He can do. This, for me, is the beginning of a new wandering. I am just at
the cusp of the light cresting across the horizon. I don’t know what He has in
store. I am still surprised, standing in awe that I don’t serve a tame or safe
God. His holiness, righteousness, and sovereignty are without question.
Holy, holy,
holy is His name.
“Now unto him that is
able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to
the power that worketh in us. Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus
throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. – Ephesians 3:20 KJV
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