Reflection of Providence

I will not be blogging for the next two weeks. Please understand this is not because I'm struggling or depressed, but because I'm trying to grow and honestly I need to step back and revaluate this whole blogging thing. I've gotten way to consumed, and the swirling voices in my head need to be silenced and I need to get back to the One True Voice. Thank you for your time and patience.

I just want to clarify that these entries are my thoughts and feelings of things I'm either struggling with or that God has graciously given me provision with, or things I'm excited about. I do not apologize for anything that I have written in these blogs, in fact I stand by them. They teach me, remind me how rich my life is, and full the capacity is for growth. I say this because of a response I got from one of my blogs that was both disturbing and saddening. Please be cautious when you read my blogs and read them carefully, and please be cautious not to judge. I appreciate you honesty, it is food for my soul, and I need honesty and truth in my life, it truly is refiner's fire. I know that the people that truly know the inner working of who I am know that I love life to the fullest, that I try daily to humble myself before the Lord, and that I'm merely human like anyone else. Please remember to be respectful when you read and comment on my blog. I also apologize for an...

As I read certain things, or do certain studies I'm compelled to write, thoughts, ideas just well up in me and I simply want them to all pour out. However, these things aren't always easy to articulate. Sometimes, you are left to feel these things never being able to fully express your emotions. I have just finished reading one of my favorite books again, Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers. I have lent it to a friend at work and she is already half way through the book herself. I love Francine as a writer in general. She cuts to the deepest part of human emotion. God has truly given her this as her ministry. I have now begun her book "Atonement Child" and it proves to be equally as good. I felt like I would write a little something about the book Redeeming Love. I have put an excerpt of a dream that Angel (Sarah) has when she comes back under captivity of her former, for lack of a better word, pimp on the Writer's Corner. I am going to use it to blog today. I fee...

Hey Guys! Just wanted to drop a line to say that some of my same old symptoms have come back, and my body is struggling. Please pray for me. I just don't feel like going to the doctor right now, and I'm sort of frustrated with all of this. Pray that God will be my Great Healer, and that He will guide me with what I need to do. Thank you!

A Miracle Bloomed... Today in general has been a really unexpected miracle in my life. Valentine's Day is such a blah day for me, but today little acts of love were blooming everywhere I looked. First, I got a beautiful card from my friend Jamie on Sunday, which I proceeded to put in my office. Then, my sister Michelle left me to Valentine's with my morning stuff that I was to take to work, and I opened them while eating my Chik-Fil-A breakfast at work. It was wonderful. Then I got hugs from both Michael and Kevin from work wishing me a wonderfully Happy Valentine's Day. Now, Michael is gay and Kevin has a girlfriend, but the act of friendship from them both meant so much. They are such infinite blessings. Then, we are planning a birthday party for a girl, Heathre, at work who has never experienced a real birthday. So, a true giving day. Then, the absolute icing on the cake. Do you have those people in your life that you feel so honored that they choose you as a friend? Tha...

In my daily writing promps this question came up and I'm curious what you think. I honestly not only asked the question, but also wrote a story about it, I'm weird and I love it, so please enjoy, and please do not think me obsessive and weird, all though I have to admit I'm a little of both... Who would you like to hang out with for a day and why? Well, of course it would be Melissa Gilbert! I would like to know her beyond who I perceive her to be. She is my hero for many reasons, I would like to know more. I want to share our narrative with one another. If you would like to read the story I wrote about spending the day with Melissa please check it out on the WRITER'S CORNER ! Just for those who don't know I have already met her, but I haven't got to spend quality time with her...like any of you care! Anyway, goodbye, write more soon!

I am not sure how many people I have actually shared this with, I'm not sure that I have shared it with anyone that I haven't got to speak with face to face, but my aunt and uncle Selena and James Hamm submitted a letter about their life to their local ABC News Affiliate to win a $100,000 dollar home makeover...and they won! Selena has Multiple Schlerosis and is unable to do much for herself, James has stayed right by her side for over 10 years and they are an amazing success story. They simply shared their hearts, and it touched a cord with the people at the news station. They got to stay a week in one of the best hotels in Charleston. James, a gourmet cook, got to prepare a meal with a well known chef in Charleston, Selena got complete pampering for a day, a complete makeover of her own. They just moved back into their new home yesterday...some of the things include a whole new wardrobe for both of them, a 42 inch plasma TV over the fireplace, hardwood floors throughout the h...

We had a great time, and ate far far to much. What's new with me. During the day Mom, Meredith, Michelle, and I went shopping, ate at Chic-Fil-A, went to Crispy Creme, then came home, and proceeded to go back out to eat at Olive Garden, consuming more food than one human being ever should. I have been really bad, but I try to chalk it up to a good cause. She got a lot of things she needed like money, and kitchen supplies such as a frying pan, little odds and ends like salt and pepper shakers, and I got her both Rachel Ray cookbooks. All in all just spending time with my sisters is a joyous occassion. It was great communion. (I am unfortunately having to work today, Saturday, because of a bookfair we have going on with the Lexington Philharmonic, and once again I've been eating JUNK!) Anyway, being personal is really not me today. However, yesterday was a really extrodinary ordinary day. Love you all!!!

I have had a rough couple of weeks and have not been inspired to write. I can't really explain my feeling, but numb I guess is the best way to explain it. To be honest I have not been setting my foundation in Christ through a daily quiet time. Satan, therefore has snuck in, and I experienced my first defeated day in a long time, which was yestereday. I just got lost in a sweep of emotion and despair, over the silliest things. However, the Great Redeemer that He is, Christ saught tenderly to bring me into communion with Him, and I had a marvelous quiet time, and He reminded me that I am never truly defeated, that I have the victory through Him. I have been thinking about a lot of things, and nothing at all. I get lost in the things that I don't do well, that I should do but don't, and the never ending list of demands on my heart. I feel like my brain is compacted with swarming bees, and I can't hear the silence from the noise of the buzzing. That is the wonderful joy...

I had a wonderful day today. I have been working hard since I got back from moving Meredith, and this was my first real day off, that I didn't have to do one thing. I got up around 8am, went to deposit money in the bank and then went to Hardee's for breakfast. I sat and ate my buttered biscuits and hasbrowns, and then sat awhile and read my wonderful book Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. There was a wonderfully respectful young man who was working there. He was courtious and gracious to everyone who walked in, and went around making sure that everyone was alright, and made genuine small talk. He truly had a servant heart and touched me very deeply. In general I always appreciate the warm service that I receive at Hardee's, it was a great day. I dropped off for gas and traveled the rest of the way home. Then, I spent some time with the Lord, praising Him for this beautiful day...I've opened up the curtains and let the beautiful sunshine flood in, and I've been watc...

Hey, I'm the first to admit that I love Christmas, the magic, the wonder, still captivates the child in me. But, like possibly many of you, I felt like it was an only once a year thing, a little gift to be unwrapped at a certain time, and reverantly packed away when the magic began to fade. In all the hustle and bustle and the search for that miracle spark of that lies at the center of Christmas I lost something. I lost the truth that layed under the tinsle and lights, the parties, the presants, and the 24 hour showing of "A Christmas Story", and that was that Christmas was something that can be carried with you all year long. It is not more or less meaningful than Easter, but resonates just as strong a purpose as the Death and Resurection of our Lord and Savior. Just as we carry the powerful meaning of Easter in our hearts, and the true impact of what He did for us resonates to our very being, so should the representation of Christmas. Just as Jesus came as a baby that f...

Oh how perfect is the title of this entry, for it truly is two fold. The initial reason I was writing this entry was because I am absolutely sick of my physical weight. I am not kidding guys. I'm stuck between a rock and hard place and can't seem to get around it. I would ask for fervant prayer for this situation. I know what I need to do, but cannot seem to do it. I had lost four more pounds and in the matter of two weeks I gained them back. By the end of April I want to lose 10 more pounds. I want to be healthy, and I truly feel this is a battle that I will win. Thank you for listening to my depressing plea. Also, I just received news that it doesn't look like I will get the full time position of CRM. As Community Relations Manager I would not only be able to make more money, but be able to learn more skills. This is only a temporary job and I am not walking into it blindly, but I thought it would be great to be able to put some money away. I don't even make $200 ...

I get so much from songs and movies. I am always relating a circumstance to one or the other. Film has always been in my blood. The art of creating an imaginery world and bringing it to life fascinates me to this very day. That you can take your dreams, ideas, and fantasies and create a masterpiece, tell a story, touch a person's life. I am moved deeply by movies that are moving. You probably realized that as I have gone on and on and on about the Phantom. I love to analyze film, break it apart and find the hidden layer that lies underneath the beasts belly. There was a beautiful Hallmark movie that came on CBS this past Sunday called "The Magic of Ordinary Days", yes I know I called it the Magic of Ordinary People in my previous blog, but I was wrong. It is based on the book The Magic of Ordinary Days by Ann Howard Creel which I now must read after seeing the movie. To learn more about the movie and its concept check out this review from USA Today ! Sometimes I t...