Reflection of Providence

I'VE POSTED A LOT OF ENTRIES TODAY. I HOPE YOU ENJOY! I JUST GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY, A LOT I WANTED TO SAY. I AM STILL WORKING ON UPDATED MY PERSONAL AND CAREER GOALS, THERE IS SOME NEW ORIGINIAL STUFF FROM ME ON THE WRITER'S CORNER, AND YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO A LOT MORE FUN PICTURES FROM ME! ENJOY...

"To be or not to be one with the ball, that is the question?" This is me getting ready to bowl at a co-workers birthday party. I will be creating an album for these pictures when I get a chance, but for now enjoy this picture of me! 

Just a quick note, I just received the information that I am the new Community Relations Manager at Barnes and Noble effective Sunday. I had my last interview on Monday, and I just laid it all down before God. I was like if I get this then this is where you want me to be, but if I don't get this then I trust you completely on what is the next step. In general things are going really really well. I know that there will still be dark days, but God will see me through. All I want to do is lean on Christ, and grow in Him and try to seize my dreams. I'm working on it, please continue to pray. I love you all and I will keep you updated on the things that are to follow. Nothing major going on in my life right now!

STOLE THIS FROM HAPPENSTANCE AND GEORGRAPHY SITE: Accent: I would go with Southern Bell, but my sisters and I do have a unique talk all our own which I cannot describe! Bra size: HA! HA! Like I would tell you...I will go with AVERAGE! Is that a good answer? Chore I hate: I am with Kat, cleaning my room, and doing clothes! Dad’s name: Charles Essential make-up: Give me some Lip Gloss, Please! Favorite perfume: Very Sexy and Pink from Victoria's Secret Gold or Silver: I'm a silver girl! Hometown: Rome, Georgia Interesting fact: I got to meet my hero Melissa Gilbert, like most of you don't know that already, but hey I had to go with it! Job title: Community Relations Manager at Barnes and Noble Kids: One day Living arrangements: Living with Mom and Pop, hopefully will be changing in the coming months, we'll see where God leads! Mom’s Birthplace: Georgia Number of apples eaten in last week: None, but if it I did it would be green apples with salt. Overnight hospital stays: ...

Prayer: Oh Lord God, You are my God, and sometimes that feels so utterly unreal to me. You have sustained me and guided me throughout my 24 years of age. No matter how far I ran in the other direction of You, You always ran with open arms when I came back tired and warn out. Lord, please forgive me for those times, and forgive me for forsaking you again and again and again. I have no idea what lies ahead of me on this journey. I know it will be full of sorrow and suffering, mixed with the purest joy my heart can bear. Lord Father whatever twist or turns that lies ahead, I don't even want to see it unless you are right there with me. The whole point of this journey is to follow you. So, I humbly lay my life flat before You, asking You to do Your will, and I promise that I will never forget the cross and nails, and I will strive everyday to take up my cross and bear it. I love you so much. Thank you is not enough. Yours, Melissa Quote: I am almost committing an indecency. I am tryin...

What an amazing passionte sacrificial journey! Every step one step closer for redemption to all who would believe. I think of the vivid images that were portrayed in the Passion of the Christ, one long journey to sacrifice. In that march up to Skull Hill Christ endured all forms of suffering all endurance of ridicule. Christ knows first hand everything we are going through, and He desires to carry us through, fight for us, refine us. He doesn't want us to be arms length away, He wants us side by side, arms embraced on this journey together. Christ gave everything He had for us, why do I always come up short, more concerned in what others think of me, rather than giving my all to the one who sacrificed all just for me, only for me...just as He did for you! In the past I've had to learn lessons through hardknocks, and Christ pruning me, taking that which is deseased and working me to be prepared for the next step. I have not produced quality fruit in a long time. I have found a c...

I heard this Switchfoot song this morning and it sent a shiver, shock, overhall in my system. I am attempting to not blog while at work, but I felt to compelled, I needed to release this off my chest! This is my life, the only one I get, and am I who I want to be...absolutely and infatically NO! I'm so tired of the confines of my life in numerous ways. I find work less than fufilling, I'm bored with it, my mind has moved on. I have no passion for it. I'm tired of my weight, but food is such an ultimate comfort to me, and thus in a somewhat depressive state I EAT! and EAT! and EAT! I'm not able to fit into my Easter Dress I bought from Chadwicks because of it. I completely and totally live in a dream world, of when my life will be complete, satisfying, desirable, incredible, moving, passionate, thrilling, worth the journey, worth my effort...I live in this Utopian World while I muddle through the life I am in right now, doing very little to fix my situation, and staying ...

One of my new favorite blogs to visit is Happenstance and Geography , I am always fed in some form or fashion through the words of this particular blogger, and I also realize how lacking in my diligence to the whole blogging agenda I am through her determination to plug away. In-depth, powerful, and usually knocks me to my knees. I have been living in a very dry place spiritually. Growing up in church, getting saved at 13, and generally concerning myself with living a "good" life so others won't think poorly of me have gotten me in somewhat of a routine in my life. Also, here lately I have been taking my whole existance on my shoulders and trying to work it out in great big spoonfuls. Through Kat's blog and my quiet time today I learned one great truth that I can't fix everything in one day, truthfully I'm not the one in control of fixing anything. I simply must learn to take one moment at a time, and perserve myself in that moment. I truly need to focus on me...

Let me first blog about my weekend. I had a fairly nice weekend. Friday I went to pick up my check from work, and went shopping for supplies that I needed in order to cook my family dinner the following evening, and I also picked me up a box of crayons and a couple of coloring books. I still love to color when I have the time, which is rarely ever. Saturday I caught up on my daytime shows that I tape during the week and began to prepare my meal. I had actually made a cheesecake Friday night and all I had to do was prepare the actual food since the dessert was taken care of. I made baked Italian chicken, that is chicken marinated in Italin Dressing and other seasonings over night, and then baked for around an hour and 15 minutes in a 350 degree oven, twice baked garlic potatoes, sweet cooked carrots, baked corn - excellent dish, orange salad - the coolwhip kind, and a delicous roll recipe that takes EVOO - Extra Virgin Olive Oil, a packet of ranch dressing mix, mozerella cheese, and bac...

Hey Guys! I have a big favor to ask of you, go to KANE's website , and vote for them for the 2005 Young Guns Contest. The winner will be invited to play at the 2005 Country Thunder USA in Florence, AZ on April 15, 2005. The contest ends March 29th. They are a really great country band and one of my favorite small back woods groups. You might notice front man Christian Kane, vocals, from Angel, movies such as "Just Married", "Second Hand Lions", and Christian will be in the upcoming epic mini-series on TNT "Into the West"! Thanks guys! I want them to win and I want to go see them play.

I have no earthly idea what I would like to blog about! I just felt like blogging. I had my interview with the District Manager today for work, and it went really well. He said I was confident, quick, intellegent, and capable. I'm brushing the dust off my shoulder as we speak. As soon as I get my pictures from the party I will attempt to put them on the blog. I am making Heathre a scrapbook. My wonderful Iowa friend sent me the most encouraging email today. I love my family to pieces. My manager Jennifer cracks me up, she is so crazy and over the top. I had the most wonderful time at storytime today. We had around 8 children and it was a St. Patricks Day Theme. We read Jack and the Leprechaun, made Shamrocks with crayons and glitter and paper, we ate Shamrocks and chocolate Gold, and drank Green Apple Koolaid. Next week we are going on an Easter Egg Hunt. I think I will cry when I actually have to give up Storytime. I love those children so much. I miss my sister Meredith. I miss ...

Hey Guys! Sorry I haven't posted in a few days... To catch you up on my uneventful somewhat boring life. We had a party Friday Night for a friend at work who had never celebrated a birthday of hers in her life. It was a lot of fun. We went to O'Charley's and had some dinner and then we went bowling. Heathre thoroughly enjoyed herself and had so much fun, I think she actually felt very special and like a kid again. I think we did our job well. I am now going to be working on a scrapbook for her. Although, I did say something stupid at the bowling alley and it really bugged me. In fact it bugged me all weekend. I don't know why I open my mouth at times and such ridiculous stuff flows out of it. I know that those around me got over it pretty quickly, but it still bothered me. I think I'm so concerned about what people think of me to a fault. I can't stand even if I've said something stupid and how people will view me. I overreact to the littlest things. Anyway ...

I was doing my Journey of Desire Quiet Time this morning and was posed these questions... ...Let's come back to the simple question Jesus asks of us all: What do you want? Don't minimize it; don't try to make sure it sounds spiritual; don't worry about whether or not you can obtain it. Just stay with the question until you begin to get an answer. This is the way we keep current with our hearts. (p.168, Journey of Desire) From Journey of Desire Journal... What do you want... In your relationships? A profound intimacy that I have yet to find. A deep knowing and understanding of each other that goes beyond words or actions. A respect and deep love for each facit of the other both good and bad. A prayer partner, a soul companion, a place for refuge and understanding. In your work? I want both satisfaction and exhileration. I want to be challenged and at peace knowing that this is the God given destiny set before me. I want to work to live, not live to work. I want others to...

Frankly, I wanted a title that allowed me to encompase everything I wanted to say under one umbrella. I feel like I have so much to say and absolutely nothing at all. I'm feeling better, but still trying to get back into the groove in things. Today was the first day that I spent a full day at work. I had a long weekend Friday-Sunday, and then I was emotionally and physically drained and so I did not go into work on Monday. I went in Tuesday to do storytime and was sweating off a fever, so I went home, and then Wednesday I didn't have to go to work. It was realy hard for me to be motivated to do anything important today. I just kind of bummed around. What to talk about, what to talk about? Oh Yes! I was watching television a few nights ago, and I was flipping between Storm Stories about tornadoes and Nightline. And do you know the story topic Nightline had on, none other than a Blogging Story. I didn't catch much of it, but basically a blog reported on a certain bill in Virg...

I'm officially back on line. I tell you the first week was a piece of cake, but by the second week I was craving to get on line and see what was going on. Guys, I have to be honest I'm struggling. I'm frustrated that once again I'm struggling with some of the same old junk that floats back in my life, and yesterday I even had a defeated day. But, God's GRACE wins out in the end...He is faithful, He is the Rock, and my ultimate REFUGE! Praise be to Him! How I've hurt Him so! (Does He still feel the nails?-I wince at the answer to that question) Anyway! I will not be all depressing and dark days, sometimes the moon days just happen. However, before I would not only create them, but wallow in them until moonbeams were illuminating me instead of the Son's rays. Now, I have a new almost out of body perspective. It is almost as if I'm looking in on my dirty cobweb filled life and realize this is not me, this is not what I was created for. My wonderful Pastor ...